Monday, April 13, 2009

Adventures in spontaneity update

As much as I like plans and predictability in my life, after having moments like I had this weekend, I am reminded how we all need a little spontaneity. Sometimes, things turn out way better than anticipated, and if you had turned down the opportunity for [insert whatever crapola excuse], you might have regretted it.

Saturday started out with meeting K. whom I hadn't seen since last October at the dog conference and her new dog. She wanted him to meet me as well as see the kennel before his boarding. It went well overall, and we both think he will be okay for his boarding which will also include his three other housemates. K. and I also talked a lot about work, my life, etc. It's comforting to know that she tries to look out after me and wants to see me happy. My parents and friends do too of course, it's just different since she understands my situation well. We're hoping to meet again in May and have lunch or dinner.

Saturday evening I met with H. who was visiting her sister. H. and I used to carpool together for gymnastics and also attended the same middle and high school. We stayed in touch a little in college but for the most past lost contact until I found her on facebook not too long ago. When she said she was in town, I really wanted to go meet her, but there was still that nagging sense of change of routine. So Tiptoe had to do some of that 'ole positive self-talk, you know the kind they always talk about in therapy. I took a deep breath and said "let's meet at P.F. Chang's."

I got there about ten minutes before H. The restaurant was packed but the waiting time was not too bad. H. saw me first and walked over and hugged me. I honestly didn't recognize her. Her hair was shorter with a blonde streak. Her body was curvier, and she looked mega tall in those heels. Then, she said she wanted me to meet someone. Apparently, it was her French roommate, C. This I had not expected. It's not that I don't mind meeting new people, but eating in front of strange people is awkward for me.

I noticed from the get go that C. was very gregarious (I'll get to that case in point at the end). Apparently, C. also loves shoes and shopping, so we headed to a few nearby stores as we waited for our table. H. and I just talked, trying to catch up on ten years' worth of our lives.

After we got our table, we all chatted about various topics. I learned H. had lived in a variety of places, including currently Paris which is where she met C. She will be back in the states for law school this fall, however. We talked a lot about high school, our families, our experiences, etc. It really only scratched the surface, but it was enough to tell me how I'd like to keep in touch with H. better.

A few things that stood out to me was how we had both changed but stayed the same too. There is always such a difference from knowing someone in just middle and high school and then not seeing them through their college years. Many do mature through that time. I think this was the nice thing with H. It wasn't the high school H., but the young woman who has experienced, traveled, fallen in love, and just simply grew up. Sometimes I can see it better in people than myself. Sometimes I think having been mature beyond my years was a detriment, kind of like there wasn't room for that much more growth, because I was already there.

The dinner I had was great. I had a Sichuan in the sea which was a seafood combo of shrimp, scallops, and calamari. If you've ever had general tso's chicken, it was like that texture but very spicy. I wound up only eating half of it and deciding to get a box. I quickly learned from both H. and C. that you never do that in France. That made me rethink things, but then I said, "well, it's too good to leave." They both agreed as well.

The two of them decided to head to a bar/club which we found the waiter very informative for. He was actually a cute fella but very young at only 21. I kind of laughed at the places he recommended which were all the college age/scene. I decided to head home as bars and clubs are not my thing. They were cool with that. However, right before we left (and this is the part I mean where C. is very gregarious), C. insisted on taking photos in front of the big P.F. Change horse (I believe all the restaurants have one) with her camera phone. H. took one of her, then one of H. and me. Then, she asked some older random dude (kind of sketchy) what time the mall closed. He didn't know but said he wanted a photo with her. He wound up taking a photo of all three of us and C. took one of H, me, and the dude. As he drove away, he just honked and waved and was all giddy. I guess that is just NOT something I would have done. I'm sure it will be on one of their facebook pages when they get home.

So that was my adventure for the night. I was highly overstimulated from all the "social-ness", but I seemed to be okay the next day. The other reason why these events were meaningful was that early in the week I was a bit down. Several friends who live nearby, I had wanted to get together with. One, I know has issues going on but just never seems around. The other always says she is working and doesn't appear to make much of an effort. Both of these people are not great phone callers either, not that I'm a phone person either but I do like to check in every few weeks or so to see how they are doing. It did however make me rethink how I need to expand my social circle which is always a hard thing for me. Sometimes I think people who live out of state make more of an effort to get together versus those who live close by and take it for granted. Or maybe those are the people I just know. :sigh:

And lastly, I should mention that H. did not comment once about my figure. There was no "you are thinner" comments or "you have lost so much weight." Both of these are truly not true, just a weight distribution phenomena. I only mention this because in past posts I have talked about people mentioning my body size and how it aggravates me to pieces. Maybe H. did notice but she never said anything, so I'm just grateful for that.


Gaining Back My Life said...

Cheers to others respecting your 'body privacy'. And I went to PF Changs last night as well :)

Kim said...

I'm so glad it went well! I was waiting for the update. I totally understand the anxiety that comes with spontaneity. Like you, I have a lot of it before the event, then I realize I'm fine when all is said and done (and, dare I say, I even enjoy myself). Sometimes it's good to shake things up, even though I realize I'm a creature of habit. Socializing isn't easy for me, but it's worthwhile. Anyway, I'm really glad it went well. I've been thinking quite a bit about expanding my social circle too. Like you, I don't have a ton of friends in the immediate vicinity. How do you make friends at age 29??

Lisa said...

Thanks for the news! I'm glad things went well and that your trip out of your comfort zone was enjoyable.

Anonymous said...

I totally relate to this :) I just wrote a blog expanding on the idea of "being mature beyond your years".

Tiptoe said...

Thanks for the support everyone.

GBML, Yeah to PF Chang's. Do you know the story behind the horse?

Kim, yeah, we do need to shake it up at times. It's a healthy thing. I ask the same question as you on how to meet people at our age. I've met a lot through my dogs of course, but I know it is not the only group of people out her for me too.

Lisa, I live for comfort zone honestly, even in clothes! Slowly learning stepping out is a good ting.

700stories, yes, the maturity thing--a positive and negative thing at times. I'll have to check your blog post.