Reality sets back in

I'm officially back in reality mode.  The trip was a nice break from having to think too much, be in crappy weather, and just to take a rest.  Yesterday was my birthday.  Truly, I did nothing and was in a bit of a bitter/dumpy type mood.  I realize this was my choice, so really I have  nothing to complain about.

My original plans had been a dinner date with a new match guy.  We had coffee last week, and it went well.  He had offered to take me out to dinner for my birthday but then never mentioned it over the course of this past week.  As is par for the course job stuff came up, and he pulled out his business card, saying he could help me with my resume.  This guy works for the state but his love is writing, and he has been published in a number of venues, mostly writing entertainment and review pieces.  But still, I thought it was nice that he offered and was not charging me anything.

I sent him my resume, and he basically shredded it apart.  This has nothing to really do with constructive criticism, because I can take that.  It has to do more with not feeling very confident in myself nor knowing what I want to do exactly.  There are jobs out there, but I feel qualified for nothing other than animal-related since I have been doing that for the last 10 years.  My problem lies in that the "contract" I signed holds me at bay from doing anything remotely similar to my previous job.  This makes it difficult to find work.  It makes me seriously think about going back to school, but I worry about financial costs.

On the same token, having all this free time, I thought about attending some dog seminars.  There were a few that were at great prices, but then my dad made me feel all guilty about that since my first priority is obviously finding a job.

Today, reality has really sunk in, and I'm feeling very bummed about everything.  There have been a number of moments where I felt like collapsing into a puddle of tears.  In some ways, I feel like I have no right to complain as so many people around the country are in the same predicament and some for a lot longer than a mere three weeks.  It's just hard to apply for jobs  and know the only thing you can do is wait.