Sunday, March 13, 2011

Discussion boards

These days, I don't post much on discussion boards. However, I was intrigued by a new website Secret Society of Women. I had read a recent article on Lisa Ling where she talked about her miscarriage last year. She decided to create this website for women to share their secrets, wisdom, gratitudes, wishes, etc. anonymously.

In order to view the website, you do have to register. I browsed the topics in their secrets section. There are a variety--everything from body image/eating disorders to marriage/divorce, resentments/regrets, fears/phobias, loneliness, addictions, pregnancy, religion/spirituality, and more. I found it ironic that the thread which had the most responses was on a topic about fear of pitbulls.

Anyway, I did want to pass on the site in case anyone was interested in participating. The ED section is not like the SF Board where numbers are not permitted, so do proceed with caution if numbers trigger you. The site itself, however, is moderated and if there are red flags, actions are taken accordingly.

In my personal experience, discussion boards have a bit of a love/hate relationship with me in terms of Ed/mental health. (For whatever reason, I have a much better positive vibe with small group e-mail lists) I have met some wonderful people from discussion boards--some have become great friends, but at other times, I felt exasperated, annoyed, and unworthy. I also know how easy it can be to get sucked in and read posts all day. At one point in high school and early college, I was like that which also paralleled the time the ED was the worst for me. I've learned that I tend to gravitate towards these type of boards when I'm doing poorly, depressed, lonely, etc. It's almost become one red flag for me.

Saying that, this is not to say I'm doing poorly, but I know this is a tough time for me. I know it'll get better eventually, and that it is important to remain optimistic. I also know lonely moments and depressed feelings are natural, but like anything, dwelling on it doesn't help matters. Instead, what I'm going to focus on instead is what I have to look forward to. I'm going to try to find at least one thing, no matter how small or simple, every day to look forward to. I figure it is good motivation if nothing else.

So today's Looking Forward To thought is making banana bread and brownies for my neighbor who graciously took care of my dogs and bunny while I was away last week.

Do you belong to discussion boards? What is your experience with them? Yay or Nay?
What things do you have to look forward to this week? Share your comments.


Katie said...

Here's a topic I can't resist :) hi, I think I've stumbled across your blog in the past but never really commented before.

I've belonged to SF (under the name of kailyn as a teenager, later gloworm) and a few other less recovery orientated boards - not full on pro-anorexic, but not as straight forward as SF. I had problems with both types, actually. SF felt quite claustrophobic to me, but the boards with more freedom desensitized me to the reality of eating disorders. I had to let go of regular use of all ED boards at the start of my recovery, although I have been known to slip back to SF to see how people I used to know are doing. Blogging feels better to me because I am much more able to pick and choose the people I surround myself with. I don't know if that makes sense to anyone but me though :P

Banana bread! I want to make some now...

Missy said...

I like blogging better (0:
It gives me a better "feel" and understanding of a person.

I like the "looking forward" idea!

Cammy said...

I tend to have some mixed feelings on the issue. I have met some great friends via discussion boards (mainly referring to the SF site, although I did belong to another site prior to that), as you know, Tiptoe. ;) But at the same time, when I look back at my history I see that periods of greatest ED board activity tend to correspond to periods of most significant struggles with the ED, and I'm not sure which factor influenced the other, assuming it can even be that simple. I always really appreciated the numbers ban on SF, even though the moderators could be stifling sometimes, I felt like it was better than letting things go down a slippery slope towards more and more triggers for people.

I did have to cease my discussion board activity in order to really take my own recovery in hand, and although I felt selfish about it at the time, I am very glad in retrospect. I have found the blogging community to be a much more stable and mature method of interacting with people facing similar issues, although I don't mean to negate the value that discussion boards can have for reaching out and connecting in a somewhat more immediate fashion.

Tiptoe said...

Thanks for sharing your input.

Katie, I remember your screen name on SF. I agree with you on your points of both recovery and pro-anaish boards. I think in general a lot of people have to leave boards for awhile to really focus on recovery.

I don't seem any harm in browsing every now and then to see how people you knew are, just as long as you don't get sucked in.

Btw, I like your blog. I lurk over there. ;-)

Missy, I agree with you on blogging--you do get a better feel for the person.

Cammy, good points. I agree with the correlation between board activity and severity of the ED. I think a lot of people can relate to this.

You're right the blogging community is different and more mature. There seems to be a closer-knit recovery group so to speak with many at similar places both ED wise and life. Not all of course, and we all learn from that.