Sunday, October 12, 2008

Gearing up for trip number 2

On Tuesday, I leave again for a large dog conference. A month ago, I would have said how excited I was to be going, how I was ready to conquer all the challenges that awaited me. Fast forward to now, and this has waned a bit. I still have enthusiasm for going, learning new stuff, hearing great speakers, and getting a chance to meet with some old acquaintances from past conferences, but the challenges of food, exercise, and dealing with so many people feels exhausting to me.

Right now, I'm tired and worn out. I haven't fully recovered yet from the previous trip and am doing this all over again. I keep trying to tell myself that no one is going to give a flying flip about what you're eating or not eating, that I'm going to be so busy, that it's important to keep my energy level up, that this can be a fun experience if I allow it. I don't know why I still get so nervous over this conference. This is my fifth one, so it's not like I am going in as a newbie without experience. Logically, I know I must try or else this can easily turn into autopilot mode for restriction which is NOT what I want. How do I pull myself up by my bootstraps when I'm just feeling so spent already? I know this seems like an utter excuse, that I just need to face the challenge head on, and know in the end (or have faith) that everything will be fine, that the sky won't fall or the earth shatter.

:sigh: I still have so much to do before leaving too which doesn't make me feel any better. Plus, there is some anxiety in that I'm going into the conference with no idea who my roommate(s) will be. This worries me since I tend to get the short end of the stick when it comes to these things. I guess all I can do at this point is hope for the best, give myself some plan, and think about the big picture of this experience.

2 comments:

kb said...

Tiptoe,

I meant to comment on your last trip and will go back and read your post about it. I'm still a bit envious that you are running marathons (my knees can't take more than 3 miles a few days a week).

I hope you have a good trip, even if you are not feeling super psyched about it. I don't travel tons, but those moments when I suddenly find myself jetting around do exhaust me more than I expect.

So, I hope you take care of yourself. Are there things that you KNOW that you can do that will help make it a better trip?

Take care,
Kristina

Tiptoe said...

Hi Kristina,

Well, I know 1) I must eat dinner or else I can easily fall into the Ed cycle trap. 2) I know if I don't h ave to speak in front of 1,000+ people too much, my anxiety will be greatly reduced. I've done this before, but here is still a lot of panic over it. 3) I know I need to carry easy food items with me which I plan on doing. 4) Make sure I socialize and don't get stuck into staying alone.

That's all I can think of at the moment. None of these are guarantees, but I do think if I can do some of these things, my anxiety will lessen, and I'll :gasp: maybe even have fun.