Thursday, September 18, 2008

Succession of a nut

Some days, I'm feeling like a nut.

The nut was once whole, naive, and innocent

The nut falls, becomes halved, missing a piece.

It continues to halve, leaving more pieces.

The pieces stand on their own.

The nuts leave shells where they once were.

And then, there is only one shell left.

Will the nut ever regain itself to become whole once again?


Anonymous said...

No, it won't ever be whole again--but look it will be something new--what it was created to be and do what what it was created to do--away from its shell which was only an outer covering anyway. Aprotection of sorts that hides what is truely inside.

Charlynn said...

I agree with anonymous - not whole but something new.

Beautiful pictures.

Tiptoe said...

Anon, thank you for sharing that perspective. I guess I'm still trying to figure out my purpose in life and feel like there are still so many shortcomings.

Charlynn, as always, thank you for the compliments. I really love it when I can take something so simple and produce evocative thoughts.

Ai Lu said...

What beautiful images! Thanks for sharing.
I might add that a nut can always become a new plant. Recovery, in a lot of ways, is about shedding old layers in order to let new life take hold.
Ai Lu

Tiptoe said...

Ai Lu, so true. I love that image of a new plant and shedding layers.

Anonymous said...

That seed does become a new plant--and Ai Lu is right about shedding old layers--you are not your eating disorder--it does not define you nor is it your future. Your past does not determine your future. I know that it can be scary if it has been a part of you for a long time--BUT it does not determine who or what you are. and I think you are an amazing young woman fighting a battle worth fighting---mrs b

Tiptoe said...

Mrs b, thank you for your kind words and supporting me through this process. Determination of self without the ED is really important for me to remember.

Anonymous said...


I support you because YOU are worth it--my 15 yr d is fighting the same battle...everyday I see a little more of her and not E.. and we all need to know that someone cares and sees beyond what is right here.

Tiptoe said...

Mrs B, thank you for your wonderful words. I'm truly very appreciative and humbled.

I hope your daughter continues to fight the battle and not give up. She is young with so much life still ahead of her to be consumed by the ED.

Anonymous said...

She is...adn I hope she a mom all we really want is for our kids to be happy and healthy...we hurt when you hurt and even if we don't always understand; we fight because the other alternatives aren't options... I will be praying for you and I love reading your blogs.

mrs b