Friday, November 12, 2010

Small pieces of recovery

This week's been tough--not only emotionally but also in that breakfast has been less substantial this week. Luckily, it did not throw me off too much as I did have good dinners (lunch is still a work in progress and is probably more like a snack than a real "lunch"). So here's how the story goes. I think I've said this before, but most mornings, my breakfast is oatmeal, a full banana most days (this used to only be a half), and peanut butter. When I am missing an ingredient, for whatever reason, my brain says, I cannot eat that then, and I need to find something else instead. Typically, this results in something less substantial like just a clif bar and/or granola bar.

This week, I ran out of peanut butter AND bananas. I kept telling myself I needed to go to the store and buy some. Well, everyday this week, something prevented me from going to the store. Since I am only able to go in the evenings after work, if it is too late, like after 7:30pm, I just wont go ( I know bizarre) On Monday and Tuesday, my neighbor was coming over to look at my propane heater and furnace. On Wednesday, Tovah had vomiting and projectile diarrhea. The day before, she and Daphne had a par-tay, ripping apart a bag of whole wheat flour! Whole wheat flour was all over the kitchen and their noses and paws claimed the evidence. A few of m FB friends say Clover implicated them. LOL Apparently, they both ate a lot of it-Tovah moreso. Both had some unforeseen problems, but Tovah's was way worse.

She woke me up in the middle of the night to potty. I was inches away from stepping in her vomit barefoot. (ewww gross!) This is a good reminder to always put on shoes before stepping into darkness. Then, when I got home on my lunch break, she had vomit all over her crate and awful projectile diarrhea outside (yes I know TMI). I promptly gave her meds which I think are finally helping.

Due to wanting to rush home to make sure she and her crate were okay, I did not get to the store. But finally tonight, I did, and I got my peanut butter and bananas and some other items I needed. All is well now for breakfast. :grin:

The funny thing was and why I am writing this post is that while I was at the store, I found myself a bit hungry. I knew I would eat dinner at home but wanted something to just tide me over--something sweet. I found myself going right to the sample cookies and taking two without even skipping a beat. I didn't think omigod how many calories and fat do each of these things have or how many miles would I have to run to burn this off or no dinner for me or how could I be so gluttonous or I must compensate tomorrow for eating these cookies.

Instead, I ate the cookies piece by piece, went along my merry way throughout the store, getting the rest of my items. I had no lingering thoughts about those cookies. This reminded me how such small happenings become markers of progress in recovery. It is important that we always celebrate the small victories, because none are ever too small.


Sarah said...

I agree! That is an awesome victory! :) One of mine lately has been not measuring my peanut butter, just because I am sick of washing out my measuring spoons. I had been doing it for a while and then realized one day: wait, this is a big deal!

I'm so glad you are having similar victories. Like you said, none are ever too small. Any step towards reclaiming your healthy life is a thing to be celebrated!

By the way, nice Jezebel article! You had some great advice. Thanks for speaking up for all of us.

Cammy said...

Hey that's great! Little signs like that are indeed indicators of big things, thanks for this post to remind us of that!

Tiptoe said...

Sarah, kudos to you too! Not measuring is a great indicator of recovery! I stopped with measuring pb for similar reasons to you.

Thanks for the compliment on the Jezebel article.

Cammy, so true, all these small victories are important.

Kate said...

were you by any chance at harris teeter? because if so, they have the best cookies in the world and i applaud your choice of snacks!

good for you, lady. and sorry about the whole animal debacle. i just got a puppy. my life is about to change. :)