Sunday, November 28, 2010

Christmas lists

Christmas List Pictures, Images and Photos

I really dislike making them. There is some aspect of the whole "desire" thing I've always had trouble with. This is when my brain goes into global mode and begins to think about all the people everywhere you have way less than I do. Why would I want more and feel like a gluttonous person for having these types of thoughts?

However, I realize it helps my family figure out things to get me as I don't see them that often and well, our tastes kind of differ. No dad the short shorts from Abercrombie and Fitch, though nice, is not something I will ever wear due to too many "thunder thigh" moments which I'd rather not be feeling. Or those skinny jeans-well they will look cute on someone else. Needless to say I have now asked them to refrain from buying any clothing items unless it is absolutely specified. I figure it will just save both of us the trouble.

So what to put on my list? Really, there is nothing much that I can think of beyond a few dog training books, several dvds, and a new pair of running shoes.Okay yes, there is probably more, but my mind convinces me that I really just don't need or deserve those things or they are too expensive, etc. In years past, my parents made donations in my name to different charity organizations like Heifer International and a women's charity fighting domestic violence. Maybe, I will suggest this again as this feels more satisfying than a tangible gift of sorts. I think this is probably one reason why I try to buy from organizations where some of the proceeds go towards those in need, whether it be 2-legged or 4-legged.

So later today, I'll be working on this procrastinated list, along with the other infinite amount of stuff I need to do today, including grocery shopping which I've now put off for a week.

Do others feel the same way about this?

On a positive note to end all this, my cell phone died yesterday. After driving around trying to remember where the freaking Verizon Wireless store was, I was eligible for an upgrade. I decided to stick with a Blackberry curve, upgrading to the second version in a color of violet! It's very nice having wifi access. Now I just need to figure out how to plug in the number Blackberry prompted into my router.


Lisa said...

I hope the holidays do end up well. It's a time to really enjoy and be mentally uplifting!

I had a blackberry curve and LOVED IT



Eating Alone said...

I saw that heifer int. charity but didn't know if it was a scam thing or not. Is it really good?

Anonymous said...

I have a similar problem. For me making a list of things I want is just a hassle, I have to really think about it. Opening presents from family is really difficult because for some reason I never feel like I deserve it - Christmas day is a nightmare! I end up feeling so guilty for everything everyone has bought for me when I've done nothing to earn it. Having said this, my issue with presents didn't appear until my eating disorder started (14 years old) and now I'm in recovery I have been getting better about accepting gifts as part of an occasion - perhaps this is connected? :)

I hope this holiday season goes well for you x

Tiptoe said...

Lisa, thanks, I hope you have a good holiday too! Yeah to crackberries!

David, Heifer International is a 3/4-star charity according to charity navigator. (

Some people do not feel like enough of the proceeds go to the cause. Looking at charity navigator, World Vision, Better World Fund are two 4-star charities, among many. Another great charity that is fairly new is Kiva.

Lucy Sparrow, that is so interesting that you say your issue with gifts did not start until your ED began. A similar thing happened with me as well, though it is hard to say whether it was the depression or the ED.

I'm glad to hear you are learning to accept gifts. Many times people want to give you something out of pure thoughtfulness, and you do deserve it!

Hope you have a great holiday too!

Angela said...

Making a list is also difficult for me. I have the same guilt, and feelings of unworthiness as I think most of us with Ed's do. Good luck with your list:)
Take care!