I must admit I'm not in a very holidayish mood. Of course those who have known me for years on end would probably say "well, you're never really in a holiday mood." This is true, holidays tend to stress me out. But this holiday, it's not so much a feeling of stress or dread as it is just apathy and blase`. It's like watching Thanksgiving and Christmas sneak up on you, barely realizing or caring it was even here anyway. It's kind of sad, because I had this fantasy of having a beautiful Christmas in my first new home.
But since my mother is in San Diego at her husband's son's wedding (technically, this makes him my older step-brother but I honestly never think of him that way), and I declined having my father visit me out of pity for Christmas, I'm here alone. Trust me, I'm used to it, it's not a big deal anymore. However, I will be going to Christmas dinner at an unknown person's house, kind of similar to Thanksgiving. This person is my boss's husband's mother who apparently loves to entertain. She's been told I was vegetarian and do not drink (there is a champagne toast somewhere thrown in the occasion), so it should be interesting to see what is available. I've been told there will be plenty of vegetables.
I'm not too worried about the dinner itself but I actually feel a bit of concern about what to wear as I've been told this person can be judgmental at times. I asked A. about this, and she said she never wears jeans, so I guess it that means khakis, dress pants, or a dress. Hmmm. I think I only have option khakis in my closet with perhaps a nice blouse.
The rest of today is low key with going through more boxes (I've procrastinated this quite a bit), deciding what to donate and being with the dogs. Secretly, I'll be glad when the holiday season is over, and the expectation and guilt of not being so jolly for the holidays will be over. I still hold out hope that one day I will actually feel real "happiness."
Ok, so not to end on such a sour note, here are a few funny Christmas ecards. I truly hope that each and every one of you have a happy holiday, surrounded by those you love. Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to all!
Gingerbread cookie joke
(I hope your holiday does not wind up like the gingerbread cookie men)