Saturday, December 19, 2009

Embarking on a new chapter in my life

This will be a short post since I'm pretty tired. Many are probably wondering where in the heck I went for the last few months and why my blog was set to private during that time. Though I am no complainer in any way shape or form, I've just had a lot going on with many changes and heartache in a very short period of time.

Some of these include:

Resigning from my job
Starting a new job
Buying a house
Moving into a new house
Relocating to a different area
Dealing with Baxter's illness, surgery, and treatment
Grieving the loss of Baxter

In the archives of October, November, and December, you can read about my first time house buying experience, moving, and everything that went on with Baxter.

Losing Baxter is still very difficult. I think about him and visualize all the places where he used to be, the funny habits and quirks he had, and the comforting feeling I felt when his head was literally next to my head on the pillow at bedtime. I miss his presence dearly and how he used to pick up all the dog bowls for me. Now, I actually have to pick them up myself until I teach another dog to.

I think the saddest thing for me is that I feel like as I embark on a new chapter in my life, Baxter should be here with me to test out all the waters. The thing that gives me a sense of acceptance is reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. We may not be able to see it at the time, but I do believe, there is always a reason.

Overall, I think I've handled things fairly well--at least better than I have in the past. I still got stressed, worried, anxious, eating fell off the bandwagon slightly for a week or two, but for the most part, these emotions didn't rule every aspect of my life so much. It helped tremendously having a gps to get around as driving in new locations is not my forte and causes a lot of anxiety. Yes, I still got lost, but I at least was able to find another route. Now, I can actually drive places without the gps which makes me feel much more confident!


Telstaar said...


I haven't read the full post yet... but just wanted you to know, all the prior blogs you wrote when your blog was private are showing up for EVERYONE to read....

Just wanted to let you know in case you were unaware that was happening.

*hugs* xoxo

Tiptoe said...

Telstarr, thanks for your concern.

Actually, I already deleted the ones I did not want in public view but left the rest up. The housing stuff isn't all that private, it was more the stuff with my job, the feelings about leaving, etc.

If I was on wordpress, I could have left them up with a password protect but oh well.

Telstaar said...

Cool :) Yeah that is a definite advantage of wordpress... I just a bit confuddled at how to use it really :S.

Might I say, I think with everything you've had going on... You've done AMAZINGLY well!! I know that I only started reading your blog regularly a little bit before hand but i did skim over prior posts and realistically, all that's been happening for you is big for people who are otherwise "normal and stable" you know?? But you've done SOOOOO well in all you've achieved, had to do and the decisions you've had to make. That doesn't mean I think its been easy, actually I think its been incredibly hard but its because its been so hard, that I think you've done so well all things considered. (Humm, my use of language at this second doesn't seem to be all that good!)

Thinking of you miss :)


Ember said...

So good to have you back, Tiptoe. As always, I wish you all the best.