In exactly two weeks, I'll be attending a week long family reunion event. Actually, it's a family reunion for everyone else, but for me, it's more like meeting dozens of strangers. I'm trying hard not to go into flip-out mode, but this, along with other issues on my mind (another post) kick my anxiety into high gear.
Normally, I don't even do "family" vacations. But since, my mother and her husband have been haranguing me to go for the last three years (I politely declined each offer), I thought I'd at least make an effort this time. I have been reassured that there will be people my age, and that there won't be a lot of kum-ba-ya moments. Although I did hear, one aunt is apparently trying to organize everything, including making sure everyone has each other's phone numbers and addresses. It could be worse if she wanted to have everyone wear t-shirts with "C._____ family reunion."
So why am I so worried?
1) a bunch of strangers whom I know nothing about
2) visiting with my step-sister/sharing a room which may feel awkward
3) change of routine/eating habits
4) feeling very out of shape/disgusted with my body
5) general stress
6) no real escape
I'm trying hard to look at the positive--that this could be a great experience, that I'll meet interesting people, that people really won't give a hoot about my appearance, that I really can be okay in awkward feeling situations, etc.
Okay, time for more self-talk. Maybe in two weeks time, I'll feel slightly more optimistic.