This is not my foot but an image from Brittanica
Symptoms: metatarsal pain in left foot, mostly over the second digit and pain in the ball of my foot upon running and/or walking
Duration: longer than a month
X-ray: no stress fracture but only 50% show up anyway
MRI: no stress fracture but arthritis over first metatarsal and bunion (already knew)
Dr.'s advice: DON'T increase your mileage, take an OTC anti-inflammatory consistently, follow-up in a month
When I received the results on Friday about the MRI, a part of me was glad it was not a stress fracture as that would have meant I would have had to completely stop running for probably a month or more. However, another part almost wished it had shown that too. It's not for my usual validation reasons either. But rather, the thought about consequences.
See, if it had been a stress fracture, as much as I would have groaned about not being able to run (both for physical and mental reasons), I would have likely laid off my foot at least for a little while. Now, that it is only arthritis and inflammation, it doesn't seem as crippling. The consequences don't seem as severe.
Athletes and eating disorder individuals alike have a tendency to push our bodies to the limit. How fast and far can we run/exercise? How fast and far can we run/exercise on such little food? How many days can we go without nourishing ourselves? How many times can we purge and still conceivably stand upright? How many things can we pack into one day to consider ourselves successful?
We do this with no real forethought, or I should say the forethought may be there but it gets pushed aside for the ED's wants, needs, and gratifications. I'm sure many can relate. It's a hard boat to row ashore. If we ever want to get better, we have to start thinking about the consequences. The sad thing is that even when we think about the consequences, it doesn't really hit us how badly it can get until we've already reached that point and beyond.
With thinking about the ED and my foot, I had to remind myself of the possible outcomes if I continued to push to reach my optimum level of running. Basically, if I planned on running any marathon this year, that chance could be ruined. So for the next month, as hard as it is for me, I'm going to heed my Dr.'s advice and keep the running to low level mileage.
Note--I was originally hoping to upload the MRI images of my foot, however, it looks like the software is only for hospitals and physicians. I'm hoping to see them on Monday when I visit S., my physical therapist friend, who works at the hospital.