Friday, November 7, 2008

Friday socialization

After my successful night at orientation, I went home, fixed a small dinner, found myself still hungry, and then binged on animal crackers. Why? I think it was mostly from being tired and not really having a clue what I was doing. I find when I've had these occurrences in the past, it's almost like going into a trance-like state. You forget what just happened, then reality suddenly kicks in gear, and then you feel awful about it. This time, well, honestly, I was too freaking tired to think about it and promptly went to sleep.

Of course today (Thursday) rolled around, and I was still tired, remembered the cracker binge, and felt bloated and fat all day. So much for all that positive thinking from my last post. But fear not, I have remembered to try to keep things positive, not berate myself, nor find suitable punishment.

So I'm convincing myself to keep my lunch get together with my former physical therapist. We had planned on this last week, and I was excited to catch up with her. Plus, we're meeting at a Thai restaurant. I have not been to this restaurant, so I have no clue about the food, the place, the cost, etc., but I figure it will all work out. If worse comes to worse, it is only an hour and there is always the possibility of another place.

In the middle of the week, I almost thought about canceling, because a) I was worried about being late.
The last time we got together, I felt horrible for being late, so I am determined not to be this time. I actually timed different routes to see which one was fastest. I know I will have to leave work a little early and am praying that all my clients come on time. And b) I felt too fat to go. Logically, I know she does not care about the latter, it's just one of those things that runs through my head whenever there is any kind of event.

I'm really trying to keep a positive look on this and remind myself it's not about the food, but about socializing despite my not so hot body thoughts rights now. Wish me luck. I'll report back how everything went.

Happy Friday!


Carrie Arnold said...


I know how this feels. I've finked out on friends because of the ED, and it helps to remind myself that I'll feel worse if I don't go.

Hang in there. And I hope everything goes okay.


Lisa said...

Om nom nom nom Thai food. Enjoy!

Tiptoe said...

Carrie and Lisa, thanks for the support. Things did turn out okay. I'm at least slightly more hopeful that even when I feel like crap, there can be a silver lining.

Kyla said...

mmmm, you really oughta try your hand at Thai food, it's my favorite! Also I'm convinced you will recover, because you're a smart girl with a great attitude.

Tiptoe said...

Kyla, awww shucks, thanks hon. Yes, Thai food is great. I've never officially made Thai food from scratch and all, but it's something I'd like to try.