Saturday, February 7, 2009


Right now, I have this song "Sober" by P!nk in my head. It's only been recently that I really listened to the lyrics and found how powerful they are. Although the song itself is about substance abuse, and the life of the party, I think it is easily applicable to eating disorders. Here are the lyrics from the middle of the song. The rest of the lyrics can be found here.

I'm safe
Up high

Nothing can touch me

But why do I feel this party's over?

No pain Inside
You're like protection

But how do I feel this good sober?

I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence
The quiet scares me cause it screams the truth

Please don't tell me that we had that conversation

I won't remember, save your breath, 'cos what's the use?

Aahh, the night is calling?

And it whispers to me softly come and play

But I, I am falling

And If I let myself go I'm the only one to blame

I'm safe
Up high

Nothing can touch me

But why do I feel this party's over?

No pain
You're like perfection

But how do I feel this good sober?

I'm coming down, coming down, coming down

Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round

Looking for myself - SOBER (x2)

When it's good, then it's good, it's so good till it goes bad

Till you're trying to find the you that you once had

I have heard myself cry, never again

Broken down in agony just tryna find a fit

There are a variety of ways to look at this song, and everyone's interpretation is unique and subjective. For me, this song is twofold. Some of the lyrics resonate the aspects of the eating disorder--the starvation, the "honeymoon" period, the "highness," the numbness, the falling down.

Other parts of the lyrics remind me of the search for myself--"the you that you once had." The chorus line of "But how do I feel this good sober?" asks a question many of us strive to answer. Whether it is simply finding life without the ED or in learning to feel good about yourself just the way you are, we all can relate.

The video for this song sparked a lot of buzz when it debuted in late November. I had not known the controversy until hearing about it on the radio. I can certainly tell how it might be considered controversial, but I think the video is trying to portray the lyrics. P!nk, herself, said here that
"Eventually it had nothing to do with alcohol but with identities. "'How do I feel so good with just me, without anyone to lean on?'"

You think about it and so many of us are afraid of ourselves, of being who we really are. We live in such an age where we feel the need to be something, somebody, some body we are not versus just simply accepting who we are as individuals. I wish this was a simple change, and we could all be hunky dory and feel okay with ourselves. But life doesn't happen that way. It all takes time, one small step at a time. Someday, I hope to get to that point.


Cammy said...

I have heard this song on the radio a few time (didn't know there was a video for it, thanks for the link!), and I had a similar reaction to it, some of it definitely hit home with me in terms of the ED experience. Having an eating disorder doesn't necessarily make you feel "good," but when "sober" is unfathomable, we trick ourselves. The disorder still seems to be the safest place, and stepping out is disorienting.

I know P!nk (Alicia Moore) is controversial at times, and I don't like all of her songs, but some of them are pretty insightful, a while I did an essay on "Just Like a Pill." I like artists that acknowledge and give voice to pain instead of just conforming to bubblegum pop icon standards.

Tiptoe said...

Cammy, yes, I love the song "Just like a pill." It also has great lyrics.

I agree with you P!nk can definitely be controversial, but at the same time, she really does try to make a point. I watched an E! Special on her the other day which was very interesting. She was quite the rebellious teenager, but perservered to reach the top. I think some of her songs show the emotional aspects of her life then and now as well as society/culture. Her non-conformist attitude appeals to me and makes her a unique artist.

Lola Snow said...

Pink has been and i am pretty sure always will be one of my heroes. I think she is amazingly talented, and her songs always make me feel powerful. I love her attitude.

Lola x

Kara said...

I've heard this song on the radio a few times and have liked if but I never really listened to the words. Now I like the song even more!