Monday, January 5, 2009

Can't stop crying

Well, apparently, little Tovah actually belonged to someone. This literally happened 30 minutes or so ago. The guy who said he was my neighbor asked if I'd seen a little dog that he was missing that looked like Tovah. She was out with me on the porch, so he immediately saw her. He said they had not had her very long and missed her. Then, I heard his two kids in the car yell out, "Dad, is that Sparkles?"

My heart sank. I questioned him as far as how she had gotten out, told him what a lovely temperament she had, how I had started training her, etc. I hate to judge, but he was keeping an eight week old puppy outdoors since she wasn't fully house trained and his work schedule doesn't allow for him to come let her out in the middle of the day. He also feels like dogs should be primarily outdoors dogs from what it sounded like.

I really had no choice since Tovah belonged to them. What was I going to do but give her up. I mean he had two kids. Was it fair to them to take her way? I know he hadn't had her very long at all--it sounded like maybe a few days.

After I shut the door, I just began to bawl and am still continuing to do so. I never thought I'd be so upset. Maybe if it had only been a few days, even a week maybe, it would have been different. And now, I just can't stop crying. I know this will pass, but I'm just drowning in emotion.

Right after this happened, my father calls. Not a great time to call. Though he tried to comfort me, all he said was I did the right thing. I guess so perhaps, but I also know that the home she had here was a great one.

Since I guess he is my neighbor or something, yes, there is still the chance of possibly seeing her, but it won't be the same. There is the saying that you have to let some things go, and if they come back, then it was meant to be. Maybe that will be the case with Tovah, maybe not. But in the end, all I can believe in is that there was a reason for this happening.

Nonetheless, I'm just broken with emotion right now.

11 comments:

Lisa said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope the family thanked you for the excellent care you gave the little gal.

Kim said...

Oh, my heart goes out to you!! You did such a great thing taking in that little puppy and I totally understand the attachment you felt. They better be damn grateful for the care you gave little Tovah. Sorry, but I'm feeling sort of mad at your neighbor for leaving the pup outside :( One day, you will have so much love to offer another little guy. Until then, cry. I would. Your emotion is totally valid...

Standing in the Rain said...

Oh I'm sorry! That is awful. Ugghh. Sometimes life is so unfair! And you were so good to her. I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Lola Snow said...

Gutted for you Tiptoe, that really sucks. You had a real bond going on to no wonder you are so upset.
{{Hugs}}

Lola x

Carrie Arnold said...

Oh, man, I would be *devastated*. I'm so sorry things turned out like this. I know Tovah would have had a great home with you, and I hope that his new home turns out good.

Cammy said...

Oh I am so sorry. I know you had become attached to her and that you were doing a great job with her training. I know it is hard to think about something you care about being in the hands of someone else, but hopefully she will have a good home with those little girls. Really I am just sorry, though, that you had to go through this, it must have been quite a shock. Hang in there, major hugs.

Tiptoe said...

Everyone, thanks for your wonderful words of support and sympathies.

Later, I did find out my neighbor's phone number and some other details about them from my landlord. I actually kind of fear for her in this home since past experience has shown that they've had multiple dogs who don't last long due to getting squashed! The kids are apparently a bit rambunctious, and they have another puppy from the same litter down the road?

I'm going to make one more attempt about getting her back. Some may feel it is selfish, but I think this home is kind of sketchy. I know you can never save every dog, but when you can save one, it is just worth it. All I can do is try, then whatever happens happens. I'll keep everyone posted.

Kim said...

Definitely keep us posted, Tiptoe!! I worry for the doggie if that home is not the best, and I know you have so much love to give. Let us know what happens! Thinking of you!

Gaining Back My Life said...

Tiptoe, I am so sorry. While it was the right thing to do, that does not mean tears aren't on the inside of your decision.

My heartfelt apology for your sadness and xoxoxo,
e

Harriet said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! And it does sound as though the poor pup's home isn't a very good one which makes giving her back that much harder.

Tiptoe said...

GBML, Harriet, very right, it was all hard and sad. But luckily, it had a happy ending. :-) Little Tovah is happy to be back. Now, I just need to get the sugar high to wear off from all the puppy chow food. Seriously, she came back looking significantly more pudgy in a mere 24 hours! In a few days, everything should be more normal.