Yesterday, I went to a local Pet Festival. This doesn't seem like anything special, except that I was horribly nervous to go. Why you ask? Simply because I was afraid I might run into my former employer. I had actually neglected going to a few events I heard about earlier in the summer, because I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I saw her. And I'm still not really sure.
Before going to this event, I made sure to check the website and see if she was exhibiting there. I did not see her listed, but still, there was a chance she was a late entry. Entering the site, I just held my breath that I would not see her. I made a quick walk through and was soon relieved. Even if I had seen her, it would have been an awkward situation, especially if she had a tent beside my vet like last year.
There was a fairly good attendance despite the high temperatures, though my vet and I were both worried that dogs might have heatstroke, especially because there were dogs there who were excitable and not prepared for an event like this.
I saw a few other people there I knew, as well as some former clients--the large Mastiff, now probably over 150 lbs, the now socialized and happy Goldendoodle (before he had been terribly fearful), and the smooth coated Parsons Russell Terrier who does quite a few dog sports.
I spoke to my vet a bit (she knows my situation) and saw her cute 10 month old, bubbly, smiley baby. Though I am not a baby lover per se, I do love when they smile at you.
Overall, it was fun to get out and go. There were a few negatives in that people simply did not watch their dogs and scuffles broke out. Luckily, no dog got injured, and no human this year (last year a woman got bit in the face while trying to give a dog water. He startled and bit her) I left feeling like I was glad I went.
The other thing this situation made me realize (or maybe I already knew) is that the dog community is small, and I'm bound to run into her at some point. I'm also bound to run into other people who know her and a trainer who she hired after me due to the whole six degrees of separation phenomena. But I can't let her presence stop me from going to an event, a seminar, or a workshop. It's like allowing her to remain in power over me, and that is just dumb, hard, but dumb.
Later, I came home and e-mailed a gal I was going to try to meet up with at the event. Actually, I saw her several times (she owns the PRT), but she was always at a distance, and I was always talking to someone; thus, we never got a chance to officially say hi. She immed me back on facebook and asked how my jobless situation was going. I was honest: crappy. The last thing she said to me before we both signed off was:
"You need to get back into training. You are too talented not to be teaching people how to train their dogs."
It was such a nice compliment and meant a lot to me. So for now, I will end this post with that note of positivity.
4 comments:
I believe that your dream job is still waiting somewhere for you. I can imagine how this long waiting makes you feel crappy, but these situations of uncertainty and frustration sometimes help us realize how we love things we want to do and that we are actually made for it. I will think about you and hope your waiting will end soon! xxx
PS: I am crappy reader, but how is the situation with your bartender job?
Ola, thank you. I like to think my dream job, whatever that might be exactly is out there waiting for me. In the meantime, yes, it is frustrating and hard. You are right that sometimes do you realize the things you either love or hate while in the midst of waiting.
The bartending gig isn't happening, unfortunately. I applied to a lot of places and either never heard back or they already hired someone. Kind of sucks. I do know I have one job in September with bartending.
:( The bartending is probably so sought-after-job...and it si probably about contacts and knowing people, not just about your skills, isn't is? But yes, it sucks.
I LOVE your jeans post.
What I love about it is actually that you keep that jeans for so long and you were able to do the decision after lot of thinking (at least it doesn't seem like impulsive decision). I don't tend to be very impulsive, but back in 2008/2009 I gave all my unhealthy-sized clothes that fit at that time away at once somewhere in the middle of my inpatient stay. It was good on the one side, I did it, but in my head not much has happened. I did it to not have to think about it. I wanted to close some chapter, but it was not obviously that easy. And now there are any unhealthy clothes, but unhealthy behaviors, these behaviors are not that easy and symbolic to get rid of. I thought about throwing photos with emaciated myself away or creating something symbolic while reading your post (and the linked posts- thanks!), but there are people I love on that photos and I don't really look at them frequently, so that it is not as symbolic as your jeans. I am moving to another city soon and I plan not to bring some ED-related or rather oCD-related things (like particular dishes or cups and some exercising things) with me.
Sorry for the long rant! I will send some positive thoughts to your future employers- despite not really knowing what exactly your job is, I am sure you are passionate and intuitively genuine about animals and that soon some good opportunity will crop up!
Ola, thanks for all your support. It is a tough time in this economy job wise, that is for sure.
Glad you enjoyed the post. I think it is good that you will leave some Ed stuff behind. It's kind of like a new transition. Much luck with it!
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