Wednesday, August 13, 2008

"Let's just be friends"

In my break from reading the Olympic news, I received an e-mail from DA. for those that remember, DA was the guy I met online who was supposed to meet me a few weeks ago. I posted about my excitement of meeting him and my disappointment when he cancelled.

After not hearing from him for a week, I shot him an e-mail, just asking what happened and if everything was okay now. A day later, he sent me a message back, sort of explaining why he didn't come. To be hones,t it sounded like cold feet. In the middle of the e-mail, he said those dreaded words,
"let's just be friends."
I swear I don't know who invented it, but it is the most lame, dumbest thing for a guy to say to a girl. (or vice versa too) I think it's the worst break up line ever, though I wouldn't necessarily say DA was breaking up with me (how could he, he hasn't even met me!) He just said how he felt that the distance was too difficult for him to deal with a serious relationship. This is, despite the fact we talked about distance and he said it wasn't a problem. Heck, he said he even had a long distance relationship with a girl who lived in Germany!

One of the other things that irked me about this was that three days later, he wound up visiting his friend in NC. The original plan had been for him to run his race, drive to meet me, and then go to NC. I mean am I chop liver or something?

I'm not really sure whether to be mad or disappointed in him or myself in the fact I got my hopes up for nothing. I'm feeling a bit stupid honestly for not really reading into this well and just falling for it all. I suppose friendship isn't a bad thing and of course should be a part of any serious relationship anyway. It's just that when you're looking for something else, "just friendship" feels like you're settling for less. :sigh:


kb said...


Those definitely are some of the worst words strung together in the English language. It sounds like he doesn't quite know what he wants. I realize that doesn't make the situation better for you; however, I hope you don't judge yourself too harshly. No need to feel stupid when it wasn't you who didn't communicate.
Hope you'll take care of yourself today.
- Kristina

Carrie Arnold said...

Sending gentle hugs, my dear. We can rarely see what is in front of our noses--I'm doubting he sees what an amazing person he's losing.

Take good care,

Tiptoe said...

Kb, thanks for your words. I'm not doing too badly really. It's just feels like a little loss.

Carrie, I appreciate your hugs. I do keep trying to remind myself that he is missing out on a great thing.