Monday, July 28, 2008

My upcoming visitor this week

In a few of my posts, I've mentioned "DA." DA is my upcoming visitor this week. This will be the first time I've ever met him, and there are a variety of emotions. Part of me is super excited, then another part of me is filled with anxiety and insecurities. The similar type one might have had in middle or high school. Those feelings of whether someone is going to like you, whether you will be able to talk with each other or whether there will end up just being moments of awkward silence, whether you will wear the right outfit, whether your hair will decide to cooperate or have an "off" day, and whether the general first impression you give is enough for a second date, call, or e-mail.

It seems like such a trivial matter, but any kind of dating prospect matters to me. I honestly do not really "date" much nor am the schmoozy, social type. Over the years, I've mostly ventured into online dating. I've been on a number of well known dating sites. I've met a few guys in person, but have found that it seems after one date, I don't hear from them that much afterwards despite whether I think the date went well. It kind of makes me question whether there is something wrong with me which doesn't do much for my self-esteem.

The only time when I broke it off with a guy was last summer. The turn off for me was that on the second date, he made me a mixed music cd. It seems sweet, right? Umm sort of, it seemed a little "desperate" to me. Well, the songs on there were ones like "One is the loneliest number," "Beautiful stranger," "Head over heels," Take a chance on me," "I want you to want me," you get the drift. Plus, the fact that when he would call me, he would just go on and on about whatever, and it just bored me to tears. Don't get me wrong, he seems like a sweet guy, I'm just not the right one for him. The funny or you could view it as creepy too is even though I broke it off quite awhile ago, he still views my profile occasionally!

This time around, I tried using a different dating service geared more towards fitness enthusiasts. Indeed, I did get a few e-mails and guys checking out my profile. I checked out others as well and found DA. I know some people do not really read profiles, but I actually do. You can get a basic idea of the person by what they write.
After my initial e-mail, he e-mailed me back, and from then on, we've gone back and forth. Within the last month or so, we started talking on the phone and decided to meet.

DA and I seem to have a lot in common. Though similarity can clash, it is helpful to have some kind of common bond to be able to relate to. For us, it's out ethnicity/heritage, running marathons, views on a variety of issues, those sorts of things. I'm sure I will learn more about him when he visits.

The thing is that I know the whole thing about relaxing and just being yourself, but at the same time, I want to give a good impression, especially since DA does not live close to me at all. He is something like 750+ miles from me. He's running a race next weekend, then heading to see me despite the fact that it is not on the way to his next destination which is a friend in NC. My thinking is that he wouldn't be coming to see me if he didn't think there was something?

So I guess I shall see this coming week. I know to be hopeful but not to hold onto expectations. In the end, things have a mysterious way of working out or not. Stay tuned for an update.


zandria said...

It sounds like you've had some frustrating experiences -- it's so hard to tell why some people "click" and others don't; why some men call back and others...don't. It sucks.

Sounds like you might have a good thing with DA! Hope you two have fun. :)

Tiptoe said...

Thanks Zandria! I'll keep you posted how it goes. I'm pretty nervous about it.