Post-Thanksgiving and killer toothache

The tooth pain started around Thanksgiving day sometime. It really didn't bother me that much. I just noticed there was some soreness when I'd chew on my left side, so I stopped chewing on that side. However, there were several instances when I accidentally chomped on that side and had shooting pain in my tooth. Crap, I knew this was bad.

On Friday, the pain progressed. Again, not excruciating but definitely painful. By that evening, it was really beginning to hurt. I tried taking some tylenol which helped some. I also began the etodolac for my leg which also seemed to provide some comfort.

By that night and the following morning, I was in absolute excruciating pain. The pain would not stop. I took more meds. That Saturday, I have no clue how much medication I took, but it seemed like nothing would stop the tooth pain. I have had pain in that same area before, but no matter what, the pain is always worse than I anticipate.

On Saturday evening, I called my dentist on her cell phone. I felt horribly bad calling her on a weekend, let alone a holiday weekend, but I was in some serious pain. I took more medication which was very short lived. I remember waking up at like 3:15 AM in horrible pain. The dogs at that point thought it was time to get up. I ended up letting them out but trying to go back to sleep until my alarm went off.

On Sunday, the pain was not much better. My dentist finally called back that afternoon. We agreed it was probably and infection. She ordered an antibiotic and a pain reliever. This is where it gets tricky. I have bad side effects with many pain medications. She decided to try a vicodin-like one, thinking maybe the combination of hydrocodone and ibuprofen would be okay. Well, it wasn't, and i had similar side effects as I normally did. So as of now, codeine, hydrocodone, darvocet, lortab, and tramadol are all scratched off my list for pain medications.

I started the antibiotic on Sunday after my mom went to the pharmacist basically posing as me. She was very afraid they would not give her the meds, so she said my birthdate. That led to a very funny. Plus, if she had the same pharmacist I had from a previous few days who knows me by name, that woman must have really looked at her funny.

By this time, I had really wished, my dentist would have prescribed something that would have knocked me out rather than me feeling desperate to making this damn tooth pain go away!

Thanksgiving Day

I haven't written in about a week due to being busy. I'm going to write different posts rather than one long one.

Thanksgiving Day was okay. Nothing special really. I had the day off of work. I spent the day home with the dogs. I took a long run in the afternoon which was really nice but very cold. It was one of those moments where I tried to repeatedly tell myself the weather was really Hawaiian- like and not 40 degrees with gusty breezes. For the most part, something must have worked, because I was able to do a very long run. It was cool seeing a rainbow too. I wonder if other people saw it or it was just me?

However, this nice run was interrupted by someone honking their horn at me. Ugh! I really hate that. I can't figure out why they do that since I'm clearly on the shoulder of the far side of the road. The other day I also had a guy whistle at me.

After I got back, showered, and fed the dogs, I just settled into reading and watching tv. I had my own version of Thanksgiving dinner which consisted of stuffing, mashed potatoes, a small sweet potato, and a veggie burger. Okay, a little untraditional, but I enjoyed it.

So things I'm thankful for:

Always my parents who do give me unconditional love when I probably don't deserve it. I know they care a lot.
My dogs who give me faithful companionship and bring a lot of joy into my life.
For making it another year and not losing my sanity.
My friends who stick by me through all the ups and downs of my life.

I hope anyone reading this also had a nice Thanksgiving and enjoyed their day. Before we all know it will be Christmas and New Year. I kind of feel like the holidays have been thrown upon us. It's always a hard time for me in general just due to stress and anxiety. I'm trying hard not to be a downer and being compliant with my family in terms of "wish" lists and such. I know the thing they'd be happiest for is if I'd figure out my life, at least that's how it feels to me at times. Heck, I'd be happy with that too!

Another model dies

I just saw this article today about an Israeli model who died this past week. Her story isn't like many others who have fought anorexia for many years and was in and out of hospitals. Eventually, she died of heart failure. It's just another sad model story. You begin to wonder if as much as things do change, things stay the same. Although some countries have made regulations, I think for some models it's already too late as the illness has entrenched them. The only hope is for the new models coming into the industry.

Hila Elmalich

Productive day

I knew today was going to be a busyday, but it ended up being fairly productive. In the early morning, I had a dermatology appt. Nothing major, just a check up on things. The verdict for my cracked, dry hands is to change my hand washing habits. Hmm, that's a hard one. I do not consider myself OCD about hand washing, however, I am really weird about not liking things on my hands. I know it seems weird being around dogs all day and being that way. I *tolerate* a lot in my job, including dog kisses and slobber. Really though, it's not my favorite at all. Even my own dogs know not to lick me. The worse is coming in after a run and Baxter wanting to lick my sweat. I give him a leave it and let him air lick instead which seems to suffice for him.

Anyway, my dermatologist gave me suggestions to try to help alleviate t his problem as well as some steroid topical for when my hands get severely cracked and dry. Last winter, there were a few times like that, and they just felt like they were on fire if anything touched them. I used to think it was a water consumption problem, but I've learned no matter how much water I drink, I still get this tendency. The one great thing about my dermatologist is that she gives me lots of samples. I got a whole box of samples of this other med to try on my face.

After that, my original plan was to go buy some dog treats and then pick up the house guests for this week, aka my friend's dogs. Instead, I decided to see if I could make an appt. with my physiatrist about my leg problem which I'm positive stemmed from the last dog bite. I walked in and told the receptionist/nurse what happened. She asked if I had time today since I'd have to wait 2-3 weeks otherwise. My Dr. walks in from the back and gets the info. from the receptionist/nurse and then tells me "we just need to get you some kevlar to run in." I chuckled since it does seem true at times. I had her take a look, write a diagnosis and go with a treatment plan. Since she knows I'm not big into medications, she suggested trying some physical therapy for a short time to at least see if I can get that hamstring stretched out. The one thing I do not want is a hamstring tear. I've heard horror stories on that. A groin pull ten years ago was bad enough, so I don't want to have to go through a similar problem. I'll start PT next week, see my doctor in about six weeks and then go from there.

After that, I picked up some dog treats and went to my friend's apartment. We talked for a good bit of time which was really nice. Then I headed back in the late afternoon. The rest of the day spent with just the usual of feeding the dogs, eating something for dinner, then watching some tv and falling asleep while watching tv.

Tomorrow, the weather here is supposed to be crazy at like 70+ degrees at the end of November! Then it'll drop 20-25 degrees. I hate how nature does that sometimes and tempts you with such nice weather. No real plans for tomorrow other than to go by the bank and stop at the store in the evening. On Wed., I need to go by the postal office to send my father his malted pancaked mix. I'll have to stop by the library by Thurs. to drop off a book as well. My mom comes in on Friday. Hopefully, she'll be in a good mood.

All right, going to head to bed now. I think I have my game plan for the week.

Week in Review

I've actually had a lot on my mind that I wanted to blog about and then just didn't get around to it. I had yesterday off of work and have today off, so I'm finally sitting down and writing about it.

First off, I talked to my good friend last week. This was the one whom I'd been playing phone tag with. It was nice to catch up on stuff. She asked me if I could take care of two of her dogs who were supposed to stay with her ex-husband over Thanksgiving. They share custody of the dogs. Apparently, he had arrangements which fell through, so I was the only one she thought of to take care of them. I agreed and called her ex to let her know. Not sure why he couldn't call me himself. Supposedly it was something to do with I was his ex wife's friend. Okay, whatever. It's not a big problem, and I do get paid for it. I know these dogs but I've never taken care of them before. They are older. One has some incontinence issues, and the other barks. I pick them up tomorrow, so it should be an interesting week.

I think I mentioned that I bought a ticket for an event and was hoping not to back out of going. Well, I can report back saying that I DID NOT back out. Yeah for me! This was to the Postsecret vs. Found event. I really had to convince myself to just go. It wasn't that I didn't want to go but rather that whole sociability factor. I had asked some of my friends to go, but none of them could. I knew if at least one of them went, it would have been harder for me to back out of it. I guess you could say I fought those negative voices and went. It was a good event, for a good cause, and I enjoyed it. It was very cool to meet Frank and see him in person. Some of the postcards he shared, I remembered from the website. The Found people from "Found" magazine were very entertaining too. This was the first time I'd been aware of what "found" was about. It's basically things that people send in that they've found from various places. These are things like photos, letters, receipts, to do lists, etc. There's something cool about getting a glimpse into someone else's life for a moment. Ialso found out that one of the contributors to NPR's "This American Life" is one of the "Found" founders.

The rest of the week was uneventful other than a dog that went home from her board and train. I was really worried this dog would lose it when she got home. Plus, I was afraid I didn't do a good enough job of explaining to the owner what she learned. I later realized I had forgotten to show the owner some hand signals. I was both surprised and happy when the owner called the next day saying that the dog was doing well and doing the things asked of her. Whew, a definite relief. I told my boss about this since she asked about it, and she asked me why I felt nervous. I think she may have gotten confused but oh well. It's one of those things where you really want everything to work out. Even when you know you did your best, you still kind of feel like you have failed if it doesn't work out. I think I also am a bit weary about Board and trains after one that happened a year or so ago. I won't go into details but the situation should have been handled differently. In the end, it left everyone upset.

I also had some sad news about a potential service dog in training. He bit the owner's husband severely. I only know details from second hand, but it is just such a shame. I never saw any signs o threat from this dog at all. This dog had loads of potential. Some people don't quite understand why you can't give a second chance or train it out, etc. It's a difficult situation, but trying to elicit that type of behavior, you're putting yourself in danger. Plus, being an SD, SDIT, dogs are trained to withstand out of the normal type behaviors, stressful situations, etc. I'm not sure what will happen to this dog, and it is likely he could not be adopted with having this bite record.

Other news. I'm still waiting on lab tests done about three weeks ago. I hate when they take this long, but that's what happens when the labs have to be sent out. I'm not worried about it since these are just standard labs I have done every year. I just like knowing the results.

I took a little time off of running to see if it would make any difference with pain I'd been having. Unfortunately, it did not. I'm going to try the capazain patch first before deciding to head back to the physiatrist I saw last year. I doubt there is much she can do anyway. It's not hampering my daily life, it just gets really sore bending down, walking, exercising, and stretching. That doesn't leave much but sleeping.

So overall, this week had some positives and negatives. I try to remind myself of the positives no matter how small they are. To end this post, here's a pretty picture of a sunset from yesterday. It's a little dark but you get the idea.

Another diet scam uncovered

I read this article today and was aghast. Granted, we've all heard about the latest diet before, but I was unaware of this one called the "Kimkins Diet," essentially a take off of an old version of Atkins but to an extreme. It was apparently on the cover of Woman's World with the headline "Better than Gastric Bypass" showing a woman who had lost 100 pounds from the diet alone. That woman has now left the Kimkins company and started her own blog here. As a former PR person for this website and the Kimkins Diet, she explains what led to her leaving.

So just what is exactly is the Kimkins Diet? It's an extreme version of low cal, low carb, low fiber diet and not medically or nutritionally proven whatsoever. The fact that laxatives were promoted is a huge red flag! The "founder" who left herself in disguise for a long time has finally revealed herself as Heidi Kimberley Diaz. She developed a website promoting this diet claiming she has lost 198 pounds in 11 months and kept it off. This was the first fraudulent claim in a series of many. There were also falsified pictures of testimonials of people who'd lost weight from this diet. They turned out to be Russian mail-order bride photos taken from another site. This woman had people pay her in membership fee to join. And there are just a slew of other fraudulent claims and wrongdoings.

It really makes you realize how far people go to lose weight, and I don't just mean those who develop eating disorders, although with this diet, some of these followers were on the verge of it, starving, and malnourished with physical side effects of lethargy, hair loss, dizziness, nausea, etc. We are such a society on "lookism" and wanting that magic pill or that magic diet to provide that. It's just so scary to think how far someone will go. It seems beyond reason just like someone with an eating disorder. Logic goes out the window along with your intuitiveness. You keep reminding yourself of the reward at the end--that the self deprivation will all be worth it in the end. Is it really? I'm sure there are some who followed this diet and feel that way (the website gives a "pro-ana" type feel) but I think there are many who did not and were playing with fire in terms of their health decline.

Back in June, the FDA issued a regulation on dietary supplements to require current good manufacturing practices. This goes along the lines of making sure that what is in the supplement is accurately labeled as such and that it is produced in a quality manner. I wish the same could be said for these type of internet weight loss scams. I'm sure this Kimkin diet will undoubtedly be the last of this type to come about again. Hopefully, this is will be a wake up call to people.

For more information on this diet and its controversy, go to here and here This site has also gotten down to the controversy as well.

A round up of emotions

I think I've had a lot of emotions stored up over the past few weeks which ended up in me kind of losing it this weekend.

The positive:
Happy. Two dog classes graduated this week. Everyone did well for the most part.
Warm, nice feeling. I got a really nice compliment about my dog training skills from my boss whom I respect incredibly.

Sigh of relief. My friend called me back.

Hopeful: Bought a ticket for this week to an event in town.
Excited: Heard from the prosthetic place about finding someone to make me a custom-made glove. Supposed to be getting samples in for me to try soon.

The negative:
Frustrated: Realizing that some dog owners are never going to "get" it and will likely continue to repeat cues. Some of these people have Ph.Ds.
Annoyed: One dog I've been working with for the past eleven days was very loud this weekend.
Guilt: Not going to my friend's party a few weeks ago and not calling her. Did get up the nerve to call her though used cop out I was depressed and isolating (true but still doesn't seem like a very good excuse) She's the one that called back. We're still currently playing phone tag. Still feeling bad about being some below the type person.
Anxiety: Holiday season right around the corner. Found out my mom wants to visit at Thanksgiving. I do better with my mom visiting than my dad as long as my mom doesn't bring up some core issues, like my life plans, what I want to do, etc. It's a very sensitive topic for me and one I'm drilled about weekly from my father.
Pissed off: My therapist send me an e-mail message returning mine. Told her I wasn't doing well and would hopefully get to see her in Nov. One line was sent saying: I'm sorry you're not doing well. Remember to keep journaling." I was expecting more than that which was obviously not a good expectation. I doubt I'll have the money to see her especially since I pay out of pocket.
Confused: Can't figure out what to do with this guy. We've gone on two dates, spoke on the phone but not really feeling a connection. Don't know what to do.

So all this, the emotions exploded. I resorted to ED type behaviors. I ate more this weekend than all week. When I get like this, I want all my food gone, even ones I really like. This normally results in binge type behavior. Saturday, it was just a binge and nothing more, Sunday, ended up binging and purging. The aftermath is always feeling like shit and then guilty for getting rid of all my food when I knowingly know I don't have the money to really spend on food. Then just angry at myself for resorting to this type of behavior even if the purges are only once every two months or so.

Every purge destroys my teeth which causes me even more guilt. Thousands of money have been spent on my teeth the last ten years. I can't even remember how many root canals, crowns put on only to lose again, and teeth cracked I've also had three bridges, one still paying off and several teeth pulled. Currently, I have a hole for where an implant is supposed to be, another that is just a half of a tooth since the temporary fell off a month ago. My dental benefits don't actually begin until Jan. for any major work. It really sucks, but at the same time I keep wondering if it's worth it.

I know this is a new week. It's a short week for me at work too which will be nice overall. There is only one more dog graduation, then I'll have my evenings again. I'm also trying to convince myself to be social and go to this event this week even if I end up going alone.

For now, it's time to get dressed and do some much needed laundry.