If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you will know that holidays are just not my thing. This truly did start with depression, an eating disorder, and pure stress. And that was something like 14 years ago. Throughout the years, I've spent some holidays with my family (though that has been a rarity since graduating from college), I've volunteered, I've gone to friends' and co-workers' homes, and I've spent them alone. My parents always had a hard time with the latter one, and eventually I got to a point of saying I had an invitation somewhere just to make them feel less concerned.
However, after reading a few articles like Secretly Wishing for a Thanksgiving for One and Alone for Thanksgiving? How to Make the Most of It, I'm not feeling so guilt ridden about it like I have been in the past when I confessed about the holidays. It's nice knowing others do feel similarly/have been through the same thing. Sure, it is nice to spend it with people, but at the same time, it is not as bad for some people to spend it alone either. After all, I'm truly not alone as I have my three 4-legged "children", though they do not have their own place at the table like this woman's cat here. However, I do thoroughly feel her reasons are valid that this cat is a well-behaved family member, as I do with my dogs.
I do admit, however, my plans to take the dogs to a nearby park were a bit thwarted by the weather. It is steadily raining here with not much hope of letting up. Tovah, my youngest, could care less as she has already spent a few hours exploring the yard in the rain. (she has to be sure she has gotten every mole possible) Meanwhile, Hank and Daphne would rather stay inside in the warmth of the house. (Daphne often thinks she will melt at the site of cold or rain-just imagine when it snows here!)
So instead my plans will be to watch the dog show, work with the dogs, do some laundry, work on a project for Baxter's 1-year anniversary, desperately organize some bills I've been putting off the last 3-4 month (literally), and to buy some stuffing and potatoes, two items which I thoroughly enjoy during the holiday season. I would have had the stuffing, but Daphne decided to eat it all! Yes, it was another "bad trainer" moment of forgetting to put her in her crate when I left/not putting locks on the turntable.
To leave this on a holiday note, I have always felt grateful in life, sometimes to a point of excess which I've learned to partly let go of in the last few years. I wrote this post a few years ago about gratitude, and I still feel pretty similarly to this. I think gratitude just shouldn't be about one day but all the days throughout. It's just that for many people, this one day gives them stop for thought. But if that is what it takes for some people, then albeit, let this day be that day.
Lastly, I just want to thank all you blog readers for reading this blog and giving me support and feedback. The blogging world has made a difference in a number of lives, and I certainly include myself in this. I've met some great people here. To each and all of you, I hope you have a successful and happy Thanksgiving Day, always taking care of yourself in the process.
I have been looking to find the right "Gratitude" image for this post. I scoured many images but none was really what I wanted, so instead I used this photo I had taken a number of years ago. It probably doesn't fit, but I don't know, it's pretty and simplistic and really just needs the word "gratitude" to make some kind of motivational/inspirational card. Maybe that makes no sense?
Anyway, I've also been reading a number of articles about gratitude. There's everything from how we should be grateful for the things we have--to the people around us, to the jobs we hold, to food, to shelter, to warmth, and the list goes on and on. There are even quite a number of articles how gratitude can make you healthier and happier and change your attitude on life. I don't discount any of these things, because I think there is some relevance to all the above.
However, there are some articles that look at gratitude differently. This article from the Citizen-Times out of Asheville is one that caught my eye: about being grateful for the unwanted things in our life. The author says,
"Around the table today there is a tendency to get caught up in being grateful for having the things we want. But often it is the unwanted that transforms our lives and pushes us to grow into the people we are destined to become." He then asks, "Around the table today, are we grateful because we have everything we want, or are we grateful for having what we need — love, integrity, courage, compassion, openness?"
This article out of the The Star-Ledger also gives an interesting spin to the holiday, in saying, "it's okay if there isn't any thanks this Thanksgiving." This author essentially says how we shouldn't make assumptions of what someone else's holiday should feel like, because it is different for everyone which can be either a positive or negative experience.
And lastly, how I think about gratitude. It's an interesting phenomenon to me. I do not just feel grateful on Thanksgiving day but rather daily. I feel grateful for broad things alike-- the tangible and intangible things I have, as well as the people and memories experienced in my life. Sometimes I think I may feel grateful too much. It's in a way of feeling highly grateful that anyone does something out of pure nicety for me. I'm sure this roots back into the whole "deserving" thinking, but still, I find myself struggling with it a lot, despite the fact that I try to be gracious to all walks of life. Maybe it's like this quote from the Christian Science Monitor:
"It's nearly impossible to feel grateful unless you're convinced that the blessing is yours. Which means that gratitude moves us from well-meaning faith to rock-solid understanding."
The article is more about how this young woman was able to not just acknowledge God but actually feel it which helped her conquer her fear of mediocrity and failure and realize what she had to offer. I think this is true for a lot of us in general--to feel convinced that we have much to offer this world.
I've kind of gone off tangent here, but I want to end with this quote by Melody Beattie:
"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
And with that, I wish each and every one of you a healthy, safe, and peaceful Thanksgiving.
I haven't written in about a week due to being busy. I'm going to write different posts rather than one long one.
Thanksgiving Day was okay. Nothing special really. I had the day off of work. I spent the day home with the dogs. I took a long run in the afternoon which was really nice but very cold. It was one of those moments where I tried to repeatedly tell myself the weather was really Hawaiian- like and not 40 degrees with gusty breezes. For the most part, something must have worked, because I was able to do a very long run. It was cool seeing a rainbow too. I wonder if other people saw it or it was just me?
However, this nice run was interrupted by someone honking their horn at me. Ugh! I really hate that. I can't figure out why they do that since I'm clearly on the shoulder of the far side of the road. The other day I also had a guy whistle at me.
After I got back, showered, and fed the dogs, I just settled into reading and watching tv. I had my own version of Thanksgiving dinner which consisted of stuffing, mashed potatoes, a small sweet potato, and a veggie burger. Okay, a little untraditional, but I enjoyed it.
So things I'm thankful for:
Always my parents who do give me unconditional love when I probably don't deserve it. I know they care a lot.
My dogs who give me faithful companionship and bring a lot of joy into my life.
For making it another year and not losing my sanity.
My friends who stick by me through all the ups and downs of my life.
I hope anyone reading this also had a nice Thanksgiving and enjoyed their day. Before we all know it will be Christmas and New Year. I kind of feel like the holidays have been thrown upon us. It's always a hard time for me in general just due to stress and anxiety. I'm trying hard not to be a downer and being compliant with my family in terms of "wish" lists and such. I know the thing they'd be happiest for is if I'd figure out my life, at least that's how it feels to me at times. Heck, I'd be happy with that too!
