"The Awakening"

I didn't actually realize it had been almost two months since I've updated this blog.  Yikes!  A lot has been going on since then with business, my own dogs, just life in general.  I'm off to a week long workshop this coming week, and then in May, I am really off and running with more group classes, working with a local shelter in implementing a new training program for their volunteers, and board/board and train dogs.  What is up with the week of May 20th?  I'm already booked for that week!

Anyway, I wanted to post this lovely poem called "The Awakening" by Sonny Carroll that was recently posted on the Heal Ourselves, Heal the World Facebook group.  I thought it was so fitting for many of us.  I tried to post this to some of you who are my facebook friends, but it did not come through, so I will try again.

There comes a time in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying, blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening... 

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

Geese inspiration

About a month or so ago, I posted about the geese. Well, yesterday just as I was about to walk one of my client's two dogs (same dogs as in previous post) + Tovah, the geese were there right on their lawn! The dogs barked, but I thought this was such a good photo opportunity. It was too bad I just had my phone, because otherwise, the photos would have been stunning. Another time hopefully.

I put the dogs up except for Tovah. I am always so curious what she will do, and remarkably for her young age has great impulse control (well except the cat she saw the other day, but that's another story). So to start the weekend, here are some geese photos. I was able to get pretty close which is always very exciting for me.

I think I've talked about animal totems before. If not, you can click to learn more about them. Right now, I just seem more drawn to the geese. I'm almost thinking maybe they are like my "recovery" animal totem since they remind me so much about support and reaching out. Plus, geese are considered "nurturers," and I'd say I definitely fit that category.

If you believe in animal totems or the like (they say we have 9 or so throughout our life), what would you say are yours? And what do they represent to you? Do any resemble something related to recovery for you?






Look how close she is!

The honks that encourage

I don't know if anyone has noticed all the Canadian geese out, but they are certainly around. I know a lot of people find them a nuisance with their loud honking and spread of geese excrement. At times, I certainly do, especially with dogs who think geese poop is like caviar.

But all in all, I have a fondness for them. One of my client's have a large lake right beside their house. The Canadian geese have taken to the water, swimming around and hanging out. I've tried hard to get these client's dogs to stop barking at them which is only somewhat successful. Some days Tovah comes along to play with these dogs, and she is just enamored with the Canadian geese. I can't figure out whether she is unsure of them or whether she is wondering why they sound like one of her plush geese toys.

When I watched the geese today, I found myself smiling. There were nine geese on the grass by the water. I guess the geese decided it was time to adjust their location, because five of them opened their wings and took off to land on the water. Then, they all began honking loudly. Two more joined them while two stayed behind pacing back and forth. The honking continued. To me, it was like they were trying to encourage the other two that they too could fly onto the water with them. The two continued to pace, but finally one got the courage to fly and join them. The geese still honked, encouraging the last one who was unsure he could do it. If geese could have wrinkles in their forehead, this one certainly did. *He really didn't know if he could do it. He paced and paced, conversing to the other geese that he was just too scared. The other geese still honked and honked. But finally, he took off and joined everyone on the water. Then, they all honked together in unison, like there was now a sense of peace in the community.

I loved watching this scenario. It reminded me of recovery and how we all need to root for each other in this process, even during those times when things are bleak, we are unsure, and we think we cannot. Support and encouragement are vital to recovering from any mental illness. I hope we all have this on our journey in recovery.

Related post: "V" formation

Note: *I realize I am anthropomorphizing the geese behavior, but it just felt so relevant today. In my line of work, we quickly discourage anthropomorphizing as owners often get it wrong i n terms of what is really going on with their dogs. However, sometimes you just can't help it. Even trainers fall into this trap too at times. The difference is we just know when we are doing it. :grin:

How are you going to finish?

It's the weekend. I think we all need a little inspiration. I was sent this video recently. It's a good reminder that even when we fall, we have the ability to get back up.

Are you going to finish strong?

"V" Formation

On my long run on Tuesday, I had what I call a "National Geographic" moment. There were probably about 50 or so birds on the ground, eating and doing other bird things. As I approached them running, they suddenly all took off in a whirlwind upward toward the sky. It was like a gigantic wind came across with all these black spots in the air. I just stood there in awe. I've seen this before many times, but it was beautiful to watch.

It reminded me that fall was here. Although the birds haven't started to migrate yet, they soon will, heading south for the winter. Birds fly in what is called the "V" formation, because of its efficiency. Essentially, it is less energy expenditure for flying long distances. You can read more about why birds fly in the V" formation here and here.

Years ago, I received an e-mail about the significance of the "V" formation in birds The e-mail said the author was Angeles Arrien, however, according to this website, it was written by a Robert McNeish. Whichever the case, it is a wonderful piece, and I wanted to share it with you.

image: Wikipedia

This fall, when you see geese heading south for the winter flying along in "V" formation, you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way.

FACT: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an "uplift" for the bird immediately following. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock has at least 71% greater flying range than if each bird flew on its own.

LESSON: People who share a common direction and sense of community can get where they are going more quickly and easily because they are traveling on the thrust of one another.

FACT: When a goose flies out of formation, it suddenly feels the drag and resistance of trying to go it alone. It quickly gets back into formation to take advantage of the lifting power of the birds in front of it.

LESSON: If we have as much common sense as a goose, we stay in formation with those headed where we want to go. We are willing to accept their help and give our help to others. It is harder to do something alone than together.

FACT: When the lead goose gets tired, it rotates back into the formation, and another goose flies to the point position.

LESSON: It is sensible to take turns doing the hard and demanding tasks and sharing leadership. As with geese, people are interdependent of each others' skills, capabilities, and unique arrangements of gifts, talents, or resources.

FACT: The geese flying in formation honk from behind to encourage those up front to keep up their speed.

LESSON: We need to make sure our honking is encouraging. In groups where there is encouragement, the production is much greater. The power of encouragement (to stand by one's heart or core values and encourage the heart and core of others) is the quality of honking we seek. We need to make sure our honking is encouraging and not discouraging.

FACT: When a goose gets sick, wounded, or shot down, two other geese will drop out of formation with that goose and follow it down to lend help and protection. They stay with the fallen goose until it dies or is able to fly again. Then, they launch out on their own, or with another formation to catch up with their flock.

LESSON: If we have the sense of a goose, we will stand by our colleagues and each other in difficult times as well as in good!

I hope each of you have a community or support network to help you along the way in recovery. No one should ever have to fight his alone.

Inspirational cards, t-shirts, etc.--do they help you?

As recovery is an individual process, there are vast amounts of tools people can use to enable them towards healing. Transformology, a group based out of Chicago who help those with eating disorders, has created a card deck to help those in eating disorder recovery. The Treasures of Transformation card deck covers topics like hunger/full cues, body image, good job, and journaling. Each card has a drawing done by an artist who has fully recovered from her eating disorder and has been given "healing energy." The premise is to help those in any stage of recovery cope positively and find their authentic selves.

This is not the first card deck (nor probably last) to be created. Another card deck about mindful eating has categories like mindfulness, intentions, blessings, letting go, hunger and taste, and contemplations. These cards have a painting and a depiction of the cycle of food. The healthy at every size card deck is about empowerment. These cards display a nature photograph with a key message about enjoying food without guilt, not depriving yourself of food, feeling better about yourself, and enjoying the movement of your body.

The purpose of these cards are all similar-- to help those with food issues whether it is simply giving food for thought, helping during meal times, learning to feel better about themselves, or coping to get through the day.

So my question, do these type of cards help you? Do they give inspiration? Do they help with learning new coping skills?

Lastly, if you're looking from some interesting ED stuff, check out cafepress and zazzle. Though I doubt I'd ever wear a t-shirt about eating disorders in public (congrats to all those who can), I do like what many of them have to say, especially this pin.

image: zazzle

Chinese dance

I was sent this in an e-mail recently. This is a really beautiful piece about overcoming shortcomings and a testmanet to human strength and perseverance. The video is available on youtube as well.