Quick teaser 2

You've now seen the cage (I like to call it her "safe house" or enclosure) for my new furry animal which should be arriving in a few weeks. Since this new furry animal likes toys, here's something I've been saving for awhile:



I don't think a lot of people really think of all the uses of cardboard besides recycling and packing, but there's quite a bunch. I've been saving additional cardboard too from our various shipment orders at work. So I'll likely be trying my hand at "cardboard" invention soon.

First exposures

Over the last few weeks, I've been working on a new "puppy prep" powerpoint for one of our seminars. We find that the majority of owners have no clue what puppies involve, so we thought this would be a good educational tool. Our seminars are only 90 min. sessions, and there is a lot of information in each one. It's difficult to cram everything into that time frame, but I do my best to hit the high points and not go into multitudes of detail.

The biggest thing we stress as dog trainers is socializing your puppy. This is essentially getting your puppy used to "first exposures" in everything--humans of all sizes, shapes, and ages, other dogs, other animals, a variety of objects, etc. Because puppies go through several "fear" periods during their life, we want them to have positive associations to these exposures. We find that puppies who have this early socialization grow up to have better manners, have more confidence, and are less likely to be relinquished by their owners (we won't get into the stupid reasons why people decided to surrender their pet. I've heard everything from "the puppy got bigger" to "I had no more room" to "I'm having a baby" to "the dog doesn't match our furniture.")

Okay, that's the prelude to this post which is obviously about first exposures. Recently, on facebook I've added some more old high school acquaintances. I have not kept in touch with these people since then, so naturally (or maybe it's just the curiosity in me), I wonder what has gone on with their lives. Don't we all wonder that to some degree?

Anyway, what surprised me was how many of them either married different races or fell in love with a certain culture. I think I've mentioned it before, but I grew up in a small, fairly conservative, white town in Virginia. At the time, besides black, you really hardly ever saw other races or ethnicities at all. I truly was one of the only other Asian people there with the exception of the family who ran the Chinese restaurant, another student in my school who had some learning development problems, and a little girl a number of years younger than me who was also adopted. Oh yes, and there were some Japanese students at the small, liberal arts, female-only college and a few Asian students at a private school in town. But those were all the Asian people there. I heard that town has developed quite a bit and it's more diverse.

One of my best friend's in high school I learned married a Hispanic man and is now living in Arizona. This was a person whom I never would have imagined dating or marrying out of her race. Not that she wasn't open to it per se, but just that she didn't have much exposure to that particular subgroup of people prior to college (she went to UVA) and moving to the west coast. I'm thankful her family accepted him and she is happy with a young son.

Another person I found out joined the army, went to Iraq, and somewhere in between there visited Thailand and fell in love with that culture. Prior to that, I doubt he had exposure to anything different than the town we grew up in.

Another boy who was a year older than me who had some trouble with drugs and alcohol in school eventually straightened himself out and wound up marrying a Filipino woman. Again, this surprised me, because his family was conservative, highly privileged, etc.

Then, this other boy I knew who was a year younger than me married a Korean woman and recently had his first child. His mother was our high school guidance counselor and was one of the only adminstrators I liked and talk with. In fact, she was one of the first people to recognize how depressed I was, telling me how my personality had changed so significantly. She also was the person who nominated me to go to Girls State too.

What I realized with this is that it is likely these people's first exposure to an Asian person was me. Now, I know this is speculative, but it makes sense too. It sort of makes me smile actually.

The other thing with this is that I'm sure these people did not say "Oh, Tiptoe was my first exposure to Asian people, and she was really nice, and that's why I fell in love with this Asian person," but it was rather a subconscious thing. If you think about it, we have subconscious first exposures all the time.

Like I try to remember my first exposure to eating disorders, and I really can't for the life of me remember. The only thing that sticks out in my head was reading the book Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, (still one of my favorites) and realizing how it was so sad how much pressure adolescent girls had. It was the first book that I truly identified with. I also remember distinctly saying I could never have an ED, because I loved food too much. Well, a year later, there was the ED smack dab in my face. I know I never had any moment of seeing someone else who had an ED (I did in high school not long after me but she was not the catalyst to my ED), seeing an after school special about EDs, seeing a tv movie, reading some magazine article about a diet turned awry, etc. It just kind of happened with a full array of internal and external events pertaining to both me and my family that certainly would be considered catalysts.

So then, this makes me think about what my first exposure to "recovery" was. Again, I'm not so sure, but I do remember a brief period in college where the ED thoughts didn't consume me so much, but then again, maybe I was just too tired to think with being on heavy duty drugs for my liver at the time.

In any case, I think this is an interesting thing to think about. First exposures and first impressions have a great meaning in life, and they can be positive and negative. Sometimes, they are conscious when you directly remember an event, person, or thing, but other times, they are subconscious. I think even with those subconscious ones, you can eventually become aware of them. I think this is one reason why I'm hoping I can somehow take Tovah into the school system one day. She loves children, and children love her. And it makes a vital impression on them, especially at young ages. Plus, it's incredibly rewarding and educational too.

Note: A fun kid's story--Last weekend, all three of my dogs got a chance to meet the neighbor's children. They have seen them outside quite a bit and get excited when they are out. Hank has a tendency to bark due to a fence being there, but it is only because of the fence and not the kids. Anyway, I asked the kids if they wanted to meet the dogs. All their faces lit up, giddy with excitement. I brought each dog out one by one and let the kids give them treats and pet them. Meanwhile, yes, I was also telling them the correct way to pet a dog and what not to do (one tried to hug Daphne which could have been disaster!). Tovah also got a chance to meet her first baby too which she did well with. It was just a great experience for all of them, well, except for one. One of the little boys has severe allergies to dogs. I felt horribly bad for him to have to watch as his siblings and friends got a chance to pet the dogs, but he couldn't.

A quick teaser

I was going to post this later, but I just can no longer contain myself! If you have been following me on twitter or facebook, I've hinted at it. I'm getting a new addition to my crew very soon. This condo will house the new furry animal.

Girls State

Last weekend, I went to an all day dog seminar. Since it fit in so nicely with what we are doing at the new facility which officially opens June 1st, it would have been a shame to have missed it. It was also not far from me, so it was a win-win situation. I talked my boss into going as well.

We both enjoyed it and got some good suggestions and ideas of how to run our facility. During one of the breaks after lunch (an unplanned pizza moment), a girl sitting in the front row (there were only about 20 people) turns to me and says my name. Then, she asked whether I went to Girls State. Immediately, when she said this, I placed her. I knew she had looked familiar but wasn't sure if I had randomly seen her at another dog conference or what. She told me her name, and then I completely remembered her.

It was one of those "what a small world" moments. We had both attended Girls State in Virginia nearly 14 years ago, now lived in nearby states, and worked with dogs. Well, her day job is working for NASA and dog training is her side job, but still it was very cool to say the least. If you're not familiar with Girls State, it's a week long program for girls who are rising seniors from all over the state. They are placed into different groups and form a mock government as a way to learn the responsibilities of being adult citizens. Each state but Hawaii has one. At my school, two girls (and boys too--there is a Boys State) were nominated to go. Now, I really had no desire about government, but I thought it was such a good honor to go and represent my school there.

Overall, I did have a good experience there, but at times, it was overshadowed by the ED (more on that below). I met some wonderful girls there who had many aspirations. One was determined to be the first woman Navy SEAL. I don't think that one happened due to the SEAL's stringent, traditional policy of remaining all male, however, I wouldn't doubt it if this particular girl wound up going into the Naval Academy. Others dreamed of medical school, law, engineering, and other esteemed professions.

For awhile, many of us kept in touch with senior photos of each other, snail mail and e-mail letters, etc., but like many people that age, we drifted off. There are some I remain wondering what became of their lives as these were all girls with so much potential.

Despite that this was such a great event for me, I think I missed out on a bit of it due to my mental functioning at the time. This event struck at one of the worst times in my life. Several weeks prior to that event, I had cut my wrist out of a fit of anger.. I was seeing a doctor at the time, was honest with him, and said that I didn't feel safe with myself. Little did I know that those words would put me in a locked up adolescent ward for almost a week. (I may have talked about this before in earlier posts but it has been awhile) I really hated that place. The ED was full force there, so all I ate was salad and cereal at night. I was horribly cold, constantly wore sweatshirts, was depressed, and could not stay awake for the life of me during actual therapy sessions. The other things I remember about that experience are an angry, young boy, the sobs of a girl who ran away to be with her boyfriend, a cutter, a boy there for substance abuse, the movie The Color Purple which was constantly played over and over, finding coloring therapeutic, night checks with a light flashed into the room, weighing myself on scales (they didn't know I had an ED until my therapist came to visit me one day and told them, then they kept doing blood pressure readings and threatened me with Ensure during the last few days of my stay), and deciding to run around the gym x number of times partly due to boredom and fear of gaining weight.

I also remember during one my visit with my parents, there was so much tension in the room, it could have easily been cut with a knife. The only thing that broke this tension was that my father brought one of my good friends in to see me. At first, I was horribly ashamed, but also felt really happy that she came to visit. She even brought a teddy bear with her.

So where does this go with Girls State? Basically, I almost didn't go, because I would have been stuck at that locked ward. When I found this out, I sort of whittled my way into getting to go, nodding my head that I had a plan of action if I felt overwhelmed, that I would take my medication, that I would talk to the nurse there if I felt worried, that I'd remain safe, etc. It wasn't pure lying per se, but I knew that place was of little help to me, and the best thing to do would be to get out.

Luckily, I was granted that wish. And as I said before, I did have a good time. But, there were those pesky ED issues. I feared food so much--either that I'd binge or eat nothing at all. I had thoughts of purging constantly but was so afraid of someone finding out (the bathrooms were a suite style). I had an Asian roommate was so incredibly smart, funny, could dance hip hop like you wouldn't believe, and was so tiny. I just felt a constant comparison which I'm sure was all in my head anyway. I worried about not getting any exercise and gaining weight. I realize this is stuff that plagues most ED people, and I'm no different. These issues were severely exacerbated a number of times during big events. I think this particular setting was the first time I was out of my environment and had to try to deal (or not deal) with the ED.

I guess my point here is that I probably could have had an even better experience had I not been so food/body obsessed. I think we can all understand this to a degree--how the ED robs us of a FULL experience of life. I really hadn't thought much about this event or prior to it until I saw this girl at the seminar. It's kind of sad too that that is what pops up into my mind rather than what Girls State was all about.

I doubt that the girl even knew I really had an issue, but I could be wrong. Often times, when we think we're being secretive and hiding things well, it's just the opposite. In any case, I'm going to try to keep in touch with this girl who lives a few hours away from me. It's hard to find people my age in the dog training industry as so many of them are older and have dog training as a side business or as a second career, so it's good to snag them while I can. ;-)

Did anyone else go to Girls State and what were your experiences there?

Dalai Lama recap

Sorry for keeping everyone in suspense. I'm fighting some sort of fatigue thing. My guess is it is sleep oriented, but I haven't tried to figure out what all the factors could possibly be.

So my Friday trip to see the Dalai Lama started out in a frazzle. I OVERSLEPT! I could not believe it. This rarely happens to me. I woke up at the time I wanted to leave, so I felt like my ass was on fire at the rate I was moving to get everything done. Everything got done but the shower part which I had planned that morning. There just wasn't enough time, so me and my grungy self left in 30 minutes with a cup full of joe, a water bottle, and my camera.

Amazingly, I got there with time to spare. Let's just say I had a few factors in my favor like 70 mph almost all the way there, no rain (had previously rained several days before that), and no accidents. A friend of mine and her husband were also going, so she saved me a seat.

There were quite a few people there and flashes went off everywhere! I attempted photos, but I was at an awkward angle, on a macro setting, and just couldn't stop jiggling the camera. Most of my photos turned out like this. Ahh!

I wound up taking some photos on the screen ahead of me.

And of course, the only really in focus photo I took, the Dalai Lama's back was turned.

I attempted a video too, but it's difficult to hear. Though I think very highly of the Dalai Lama, it was a little harder than I expected to hear everything he said due to broken syllables. I understood the gist of what he said, but some words were lost in translation. In any case, it was very inspiring. It's not everyday you are in the same room with such a well known world leader.

Much of his talk was about what you would expect him to address--love, compassion, affection. These all seem so common sense, but still, it is difficult for people to completely contemplate. He also touched on remaining positive through difficult times which was humorously conveyed in the answer to a question a woman asked about how to not remain angry at her ex-husband. This was the other thing that was out of the ordinary--the

Dalai Lama has a good sense of humor! I had seen it before on television interviews, but to see it in person really makes you laugh even more.

Overall, despite my unplanned, on the fly morning, I was so glad to go. I had hoped there would be some photo ops with the Dalai Lama, but after his talk, he was whisked away. My friend, her husband, and I looked around at the vendors. I bought a few little Tibetan items like medicine wheels, a keychain, and metal plate to go over doors to bless people as they walk in. One thing I saw there were blessed handmade dog collars made by a Buddhist nun. They were nice but also $40. I love my pets greatly, but even that seemed a bit steep to me for a pet collar.

After that, we went to eat at the Old Spaghetti Factory and the Hard Rock Cafe. My friend's husband got a hurricane. My friend said the hurricane was fruity, so I took a sip. Well, apparently not fruity enough for me. Call me sissy in that way, but I only like really fruity drinks. I rarely drink at all, maybe once or twice a year.

I left after that and headed home. It truly was a great experience, and it was fun to meet my friend there. I feel fortunate enough to have seen the Dalai Lama before he is no longer here with us. He's 73 years old and apparently in good health, but still, it is easy for something to go wrong suddenly at that age. He has done a lot for the world and it has been forecasted, he'll be the last Dalai Lama from his people. It is likely that China will pick their own Dalai Lama once he is gone. It's kind a sad prospect to think but realistic.

The day after I went to an all day dog seminar which was fun. I made some new contacts, met a girl who I had not seen in 14 years (more on that in the next post), and was forced to change my lunch plans at the last minute. By the end of the weekend, I just felt like I was dragging and have since had a hard time getting myself going this week. Hopefully, next week, I'll be more energized.

Maybe I'll be enlightened

This is a quick post in reference to the title. I'm super excited. I'm going to see the Dalai Lama tomorrow morning!!

I learned about this way back in March and bought a ticket. I figured this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and he was not going to live forever. I seriously think I would have kicked myself if I didn't decide to go or made some excuse. Though I do not affiliate with a religion, (though do lean towards Buddhism) I've always loved what the Dalai Lama has had to say, especially about his stance towards non-violence and having compassion. towards humans and animals.

A good friend of mine is also going, so we're hoping to meet up there and go out to lunch afterwards.

I'll post all about it when I get back. It may not be until the end of the weekend as I'm going to an all day dog seminar on Saturday.

The Dalai Lama is traveling quite a bit with next stops in WI, IA, and NY. You can look here at his full schedule.

Scales on the horizon

To the left is a picture of a dog scale. My boss has decided we needed one for when we board dogs to monitor their weight when they stay with us. This was vastly prompted by a client's dog who was staying at a vet's office for boarding and lost 20 pounds (not sure how long the dog was there). Apparently, there was some miscommunication on how much to feed the dog, and the vet's office was only giving half of his normal intake. Why, they didn't increase his food or even notice his sudden weight loss is beyond me.

When my boss told me about possibly getting a scale, I cringed. Though I certainly understand the intentions of this scale--for the health and well being of the dog (as well as any liability issue in case someone may accuse us of starving their dog), but there is still a slight bit of uneasiness for me. I have the ( ), because I'm not positive this is the case, it just seems like the liability issue is another one from the way my boss talks. That, and I think she likes thinking that this is yet another thing in how we are different from other dog facilities. Apparently, this scale would only be used for boarding clients which was a sigh of relief for me as I did originally think she wanted this for daycare clients as well! The thing is this doesn't necessarily guarantee anything. There could easily be a client who would be upset that their dog lost 2 pounds while staying with us, while on the flip side, someone else may be happy that their dog lost weight with us if the dog was a bit overweight.

I'm sure I'm projecting more of my issue about this than anything else, and to most people it is not a big deal. I don't know if my hang up is the fact that there would be a giant scale in front of me everyday (I do not have scales in my house) or that I feel like this blurs a funny line between health practitioner and dog trainer, something my boss is very adamant about not crossing.

There isn't much I can do at this point. The scale has already been ordered and is on its way. I guess like in most things in life, I just have o learn to deal with it. So am I overreacting? C'mon, you can tell me a "Tiptoe, this is just a dog scale," my feelings won't be hurt. ;-) Is my viewpoint just filtered through ED-esque thoughts, or is there any inkling of sense?