House hunting

On Sunday, I wrote about how my house plans may be resorted to a plan B or C. Well, now I think it may be back to Plan A!

I've been house hunting since mid-August. As a first-time house buyer, I have learned how so much about real estate! Next week, I'll give a guide for anyone who may be interested in getting a house for the first time, because it really is an overwhelming (though thrilling too) experience.

The last month or so, I had been very frustrated in not finding what I wanted. There were many things floating through my head. Was I being too stringent and impractical? Was I just being a maximizer versus satisficer? Had all my eating disorder aspects gotten in the way? Or had I just not simply found the right house? I wan ted to opt for the last thought, but all the other thoughts were overrunning the most logical one.

Now, I certainly had an "ideal" house in mind, but I was willing to "sacrifice" a few things so to speak. But one of the ones that was the hardest was "private versus public," and this was where the ED was involved. For the last seven years, I have lived pretty much out in the country, though I'm still close to town. In general, I have liked having the space, not having neighbors too close, having a huge yard for my dogs, running on country roads, etc. There were obviously drawbacks to living in the country, especially with isolation and living alone which the ED thrives on. I had a roommate for awhile here, but she turned out to be mean, manipulative, malicious, and overstepped boundaries in reading my journal! (and I don't call out many people like this, as it is my nature to try to see the best in people) I could tell you many stories about that living situation, but that's just a post for another time. After she left back in 2004, I vowed to NEVER have a roommate again! (this is not to say that all roommates are like this, I have had a few good ones, this one just happened to be the bad apple of them all)

In total, I have looked at almost three dozen houses out of my 82 matches. The matches have been computer generated based on criteria I wanted. I can select which ones I want to save and which to reject. So far, there are 76 in the reject pile. These include ones that I looked at and did not like, ones I read from the get go and knew wouldn't work, those that have gone pending (someone put an offer on the house), have been sold, have been withdrawn/cancelled, or were short sales (basically meaning the offer is lower than what the seller wanted and that the lending agency would be taking a loss on the house).

Prior to this week, I had 3 top choices. One house went pending, another was withdrawn, so I was left with one top choice. I wanted a choice of at least 3 to decide upon. Yesterday, I saw 15 houses which is a lot of houses in day. At this point, it becomes mostly a process of elimination, and you really have to see the house. Some people can find a house online and know that is the one they want, but when you have 4 dogs to consider, it makes it much harder.

Of the 15 houses, I found 3 others in addition to my other top pick. All of them will need a little work with fencing--some more than others, but otherwise, they are move-in able. The plan for next week is to look at any new listings that come up in the morning, look at my top choices in the afternoon, and possibly make an offer.

Now, here's where things get really hard. Financing. As most of you know the housing market took has taken a real big hit recently with essentially banks giving loans for houses but not setting many requirements. Thus, some people bought houses that they could not afford, got behind on mortgage payments, and had to foreclose. This is one reason why you are seeing so many foreclosed homes and the prices of homes slashed dramatically. Though this has been awful for the economy, it has been a real boost for first-time home buyers or those looking to upgrade. Currently, it is a "buyer's market" as they call it. Right now, the government is giving first-time home buyers a credit of $8,000 towards financing their new home. The catch is that the deadline is November 30th which means you have to have all the necessary paperwork, gotten the loan from whatever bank you choose, and close on the house. Last week, it was almost a sure bet the credit would be extended. However, this week, my realtor told me that there had been some opposition, so lobbyists have been sent to Congress to vouch for extending the credit.

Due to the housing crisis, banks have become much more restrictive on getting pre-approval for the loans. Everyone is having a hard time, but yet at the same time, wants to get the credit before it runs out, including me. This is one reason why this is so time sensitive. I applied for pre-approval a month ago. Originally, my parents were going to put down a rather large down payment, hoping they would have sold my grandfather's house. There has been a snafu with that in that the potential buyer (my cousin) is also in the same predicament as me (first-time home buyer) but having difficulty getting the name off of her old property that she and her ex-husband had shared. We really couldn't rely on this for a down payment and needed to resort to something else.

My realtor got in touch with another mortgage broker who is apparently fast. We're going to go with a different loan where you don't have to put as much money down and will now be using my current income versus my future income at the new job. The only catch with this is that there must be verification of work from my current employer. Right now, she does not know I am leaving, which is actually good for this loan. My only issue is that she will drag her feet on this or be suspicious. Of course, I am going to tell her, but my resignation is now moved back until probably the end of this month so that this loan can get processed. This also may push back my start date for the new job too. I would have rather gone with my new job's income, but the problem is that it would have been difficult to get 30 days work, showing that you are making said income in order for approval. This would also have cut me off from the first time home buyer credit deadline more than likely.

See, how confusing and stressful this can get? However, at the same time, buying your own home is an incredibly investment. Some say it is the best investment you are making, because you will be getting the money you put into it. Plus, the first few years, you can write it off on your taxes. I guess the most important thing for me to remember is that as stressful and hard as this is right now, in the end, it will be worth it.

On a side note, I'm hoping to hear from the UMN vet. In an e-mail on Sunday, she said his scan did look to be a glioma. She said that they had removed some in similar locations to Baxter's and been successful. She also said all had at least one month post-MRI before surgery and had no problems, even with the most aggressive tumors. And the best thing she said was "I think Baxter will make a great candidate for the study." Now, I just need to get more details.

Maximizer versus Satisficer

I recently finished the book, The Paradox of Choice: why more is less by Barry Schwartz. Although not an eye-opening book per se, it did give me a lot of food for thought in how I function with making choices. Normally, you'd think that having so many choices would be a great thing. It is to an extent, but it can get hairy quickly. This comes when decision making becomes detrimental to our psyche and health. That, in essence, is the paradox of choice. I have a lot more thoughts about everyday paradoxes, but that'll be left for another post.

I want to focus on Maximization. Below is a cartoon about maximizers.

Published in The New Yorker 9/18/2000 by Leo Cullum

What is a maximizer? A maximizer is one who only seeks and accepts the best. They are the people who check out all the options before making any choice. They often take a long time before making a choice and will compare purchase decisions to choices others have made.

Even when they have made a choice, they worry that that was not the right option or may feel less satisfied and less positive with the choice they have made. They may also experience regret after a purchase or choice. Maximizers also don't cope with negative events well, take longer to recover from these events, and will ruminate about their experiences.

Many would think being a maximizer would be a good thing, but it can pay a price. A number of problems can occur with those who are maximizers, including feeling less happy, more regret, being more perfectionistic, and feeling an overload of choices. In the book, Sachwartz outlines a few studies that represented this.

Then there are individuals who are what Schwartz calls Satisificers. They are people who do check out options but settle for good enough or excellent but not necessarily the best. They don't worry about the choice they have made or that there might have been something better.

Compared with maximizers, satisficers take less time comparing and purchasing products. They do not seem to compare their decisions as much to others. They usually feel more positive about their choices and experience less regret than their counterparts.

Schwartz in general says how we should all strive to become more satisficers. However, he also realizes that it's also about acceptance too. For many people, they are "domain specific" of when they will be a maximizer or a satisficer. And that's really okay. It's when it becomes a point of real hindrance that there is a problem and it needs to be worked on.

Personally, for me, I was taught to always want the best out of life, that being number one, going to the best college, etc. was important. None of those things happened, and it left me feeling like I was "settling" for second best, second rate, that it wasn't enough, that I wasn't enough. I still have a really hard time with choices. I am positive I suffer from the overloading of choices phenomenon which has left me at a standstill at times. It's something I am working on and trying to realize that sometimes the best isn't all it's cut out to be. I know and have accepted that there will be certain things in life that I will always be a maximizer, but over the years, I have lessened it to a degree, especially with food/household items. I think a large part of that was financial to be honest, but also realizing that even those things that may have been second rate to me, I've come to actually just be satisfied with.

Here's a Maximization Test reprinted in the book, The Paradox of Choice courtesy via APA. Where do you fall on the Maximization Scale?

Maximization Scale
Ratings are from 1 (completely disagree) to 7 (completely agree) Scores can range from 13 to 91. A score of 65 or higher is on the maximization side. A score of 30 or lower is on the satisficing side.

1. Whenever I'm faced with a choice, I try to imagine what all the other possibilities are, even ones that aren't
present at the moment.
2. No matter how satisfied I am with my job, it's only right for me to be on the lookout for better opportunities.
3. When I am in the car listening to the radio, I often check other stations to see if something better is playing,
even if I am relatively satisfied with what I'm listening to.
4. When I watch tv, I channel surf, often scanning through the available options even while attempting to watch
one program.
5. I treat relationships like clothing; I expect to try a lot on before finding the perfect fit.
6. I often find it difficult to shop for a gift for a friend.
7. Renting videos is really difficult. I'm alway struggling to pick the best one.
8. When shopping, I have a hard time finding clothing that I really love.
9. I'm a big fan of lists that attempt to rank things (the best movies, the best singers, the best athletes, the best
novels, etc)
10. I find writing is very difficult, even if it's just writing a letter to a friend, because it's so hard to word things just
right. I often do several drafts of even simple things.
11. No matter what I do, I have the highest standards for myself.
12. I never settle for second best.
13. I often fantasize about living in ways that are quite different from my actual life.