Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The other shoe dropped...

I'm pretty exhausted right now. What I will say is that the shoe did indeed drop. When I arrived here on Sunday evening, things did not look good for my dad. He had a massive brain hemorrhage. Medications and the correct protocol were done, however, bleeding only worsened overnight. The nurse practitioner showed me his digitized scans, and it was apparent. His hemorrhage had begun as a size of grapefruit and grew another few cm in 7 hours time. There was also increased swelling. At this point, he was not a candidate for surgery. And even if he did survive, he would have been left with no speech, hearing, and half side body paralyzed. We all knew he did not want to live that way.

He left this earth at approximately 2:55pm on Monday. Arrangements were quickly made for a traditional Jewish funeral as my dad was Jewish (did not practice but grew up as and believed in the faith). The funeral is tomorrow, and then I have to leave to go back where grieving and processing will resume. It will be hard as I live alone, and come Sunday, that may be rough. Sundays and Wednesdays were his "official" days to call me. We talked at other times too, but he designated those days and absolutely loved to have them. It is very sad knowing there will be no more of those calls.

I will post more later after the funeral and when I get back. I'm just extremely exhausted, but at least not numb. Sometimes, those emotions are hard to feel, but it is how we process, grieve, and heal.



12 comments:

Sensory Overload said...

May you, your family and all those touched by your dad be held in comfort during this time.

Thoughts and prayers for all.

Tiger said...

Oh Tiptoe. Thinking of you and your family. I'm so sorry.

Kaylee said...

So, so sorry for your loss. I'm thinking of you, hang in there.

midoriliem said...

I'm thinking of you and your family. What do you need to get through this? Would it help you to say Kaddish or sit shiva?

Alie said...

I haven't commented here before, but I do read and enjoy your blog. I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

Arielle Bair (Becker) said...

Words cannot do justice to a loss like this one. So very sorry to hear of the situation and the pain you are feeling, though I realize sorry is not adequate. ((hugs))

Cammy said...

Oh no, I was way behind on blogs due to travel and only just saw this. I am so, so sorry...they don't make words articulate enough for a situation like this. Please drop me a line if you need to talk, and let me know if there's anything at all I can do.
<3

Tiptoe said...

Thank you all for your thoughts. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. It is never an easy thing. I will post soon again, hopefully tomorrow or the day after.

Telstaar said...

Oh I'm so very sorry. I"m only just catching up on blogs now. I'm sooo very sorry to hear this. Know that my thoughts are with you xo

scottrecovered said...

I am so so sorry for your loss :'( Anything I can do for you, please let me know <3 Praying for you <3

Scott

obat pembesar penis vmenplus said...

nice info.

obat kuat cialis said...

thank you for sharing,i like your topic.