He wrote an e-mail, apologizing for jumping down my throat, expressing what he felt, why he felt that way, and that yes, he was interested in a relationship with me. The e-mail was very helpful and it did make sense. He's not a dater, he's had some failed relationship experiences, is ready for a real relationship, expects "barriers" as he puts it to be broken down by each date (my comment of meeting elsewhere made him feel like we were at square 1), the time and financial commitment he's made so far (it is a 90 minute drive for him, and our dates have been 3-4 hours long), and that he understood if I wanted to "shop" around.
I responded back giving my viewpoint which was helpful to him as well. Basically, I said I was not a "shopper," that I did think there was relationship potential, that I equated "house/visiting" with intimacy which sort of scares me (okay scares me a lot), that I understood the financial and time commitment (though I must admit in the back of my head, I'm thinking if he is already moving here, then he it's like a kill two birds with one stone type of thing), and that we likely both overreacted a little.
He agreed with all I said and said if he was going to pick me up, it would be a drive by, honk the horn type of thing which did make me feel better. But still, it did almost seem like he was going to dump me just because I wouldn't let him pick me up at my house.
We corresponded back and forth for a few additional e-mails, and one statement jumped out at me: "I've met women in the past where it would take a bulldozer to get through the walls they've built up over the years." Gosh, I'm really hoping that is not me. I reassured him I was not that type of woman, but does fear of intimacy make me that type of woman? He apparently is a bit opposite in this way and easily displays it once in a relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like intimacy (in whatever form), but I have some reservations about it. Plus, I think body image issues kind of wave back in. This almost made me feel like calling my former T. who I haven't spoken to in like two years, though I have sent her holiday cards. Then, I think that maybe I'm jumping the gun a bit, and once I feel more comfortable, I will feel differently.
In a funny kind of way, we are both glad we had this conversation. We plan on meeting on Monday.
So to all you daters out there, does his seem fast? Was I overreacting in not wanting him to pick me up at my house? Do you equate house visiting with intimacy?