tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post7679167582017685103..comments2023-10-28T04:45:48.353-04:00Comments on Between Living and Existing: How beliefs are so hard to changeTiptoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17388368645986593755noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-14308826018559901942009-08-14T06:37:25.399-04:002009-08-14T06:37:25.399-04:00Lissy, glad this post was helpful to you. It can b...Lissy, glad this post was helpful to you. It can be disconcerting what things bother us sometimes.<br /><br />Cbtish, one example of a belief would be: "Other people have had much worse trauma than me, so I should not let this (trauma) affect me so much."<br /><br />There are certainly parts of me that think this way--that I should just be over this trauma. But, of course, the other part of me *knows* that this is simply irrational, because trauma is different for everyone. There isn't a scale that says your trauma is worse than mine, but it is how I feel at times (and for other reasons as well)<br /><br />I can't say my life would be a vast improvement per se if I stopped thinking this way, but there would at least be less minimization and more acceptance.Tiptoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17388368645986593755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-27599080494283541742009-08-13T19:49:35.159-04:002009-08-13T19:49:35.159-04:00i was just grumping because i gained .6 pounds sin...i was just grumping because i gained .6 pounds since i weighed myself three days ago. POINT 6!!!! is it possible that it really bothers me? it seems inconceivable but it does.<br /><br />AND, and this is pretty embarrassing to admit,... i have my period now. <br /><br />thanks for this post. it's a good wake-up call for meI Hate to Weighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17241064340434705588noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-25328709302015302682009-08-13T00:24:54.443-04:002009-08-13T00:24:54.443-04:00Kim, agreed--thoughts are the hardest thing to cha...Kim, agreed--thoughts are the hardest thing to change. Sometimes, I think they become ingrained in ways, and it takes a lot of work to un-ingrain them. <br /><br />I know I am hard on myself and need to probably ease up a bit, especially with the tough stuff.<br /><br />Eating alone, glad you followed the links and took time to read. There's a lot of me in the personal posts.<br /><br />Breaking secrets is hard, but I am glad you were able to share them with H. Having both a safe place and to feel safe are important for sharing and eventually breaking free from them.<br /><br />Jessie, yes, it can be a difficult thing, and rationalizing can make it even harder. I hope you are able to continue working through it and come to a place of peace with them.<br /><br />Cbtish, I have not forgotten you. I will give an example of a belief and answer what you suggested. But tomorrow. I'm just spent and am going to bed early for me.Tiptoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17388368645986593755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-26138943876417803672009-08-11T19:12:23.378-04:002009-08-11T19:12:23.378-04:00I can really relate to this--changing my beliefs a...I can really relate to this--changing my beliefs about food and eating and my body is something I'm really struggling with right now. And I really like the distinction you make between knowing that beliefs are irrational and actually changing these beliefs because this is so true for me as well. Generally now I know when I'm thinking something that is irrational (even if I like to pretend that it is absolutely rational) but the knowing doesn't make me change the belief. It's strange and counter-intuitive but there it is.Jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04336422043308118757noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-17395227569934274032009-08-11T16:04:00.514-04:002009-08-11T16:04:00.514-04:00That feeling that you are not trying hard enough t...That feeling that you are not trying hard enough to change happens when the therapist's formulation is wrong. Only the therapist can fix it, perhaps with help from her supervisor.<br /><br />It would be interesting if you could share here just one example of the beliefs on your list.<br /><br />Then convince me that you really do believe it.<br /><br />Finally, convince me that if you stopped believing it your life would be significantly better in some way.cbtishhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04401107753926873126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-52465369829764690582009-08-11T15:40:47.283-04:002009-08-11T15:40:47.283-04:00Loved the post, and I followed the links. It let&#...Loved the post, and I followed the links. It let's me know you a little bit better. And feel a bit better than I was about myself. I hate it when I can't do the homework right. H alway's tell's me that it's not about right or wrong but I know there is. <br /><br />The old post about the secret got to me big time. I can still remember seeing H the first time, I had caried my secret around for almost 11 years and I was total broken inside over it. Not really what she was expecting, nor was I but those things can eat into your soul. Your very brave for talking and trusting. And I'm going to look at how some of my beliefs have changed. Thanks for the post.Eating With Othershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07885274679677042833noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-33654355270011084972009-08-11T14:43:10.015-04:002009-08-11T14:43:10.015-04:00Changing beliefs seems to be the hardest part of r...Changing beliefs seems to be the hardest part of recovery (and life). Nobody likes it. It's not just you, or just "us." It's everyone. We all have comforting ways of thinking and behaving. Changing behaviors seems to be gradually easier for me, but changing my thoughts seems really hard. I've started to assume that my thoughts may not change, but my behaviors can, and that's good. And, once I accept that, then my thoughts start to change. It's really weird. Don't be so hard on yourself. I really think the more you let go of the burden of HAVING to do this work, you will free yourself up to think differently.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12524913753671188764noreply@blogger.com