tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post1906314455114451172..comments2023-10-28T04:45:48.353-04:00Comments on Between Living and Existing: Musings on memory and specialnessTiptoehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17388368645986593755noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-67854903808180819452011-03-10T22:33:36.763-05:002011-03-10T22:33:36.763-05:00Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. It ca n...Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. It ca nbe a tough one to bring up.<br /><br />Shard, glad you are working through your PTSD. It is sad letting go of some traits that we liked and felt helped us, though were not necessarily healthy for us.<br /><br />Findingthewholeself, yes, I agree that with an ED, you cannot fully engage with someone. The Ed always takes some part of you. Good for you on working about changing your thinking on the superwoman complex. It can be a hard one to break.<br /><br />Missy, we all filter in a variety of ways, and I agree, it is about how to cope. Thanks for your lovely remark about me. :-) The same holds true for you too.Tiptoehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17388368645986593755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-73041081802629507082011-03-04T15:39:57.842-05:002011-03-04T15:39:57.842-05:00I have a tendency to filter the bad and only remem...I have a tendency to filter the bad and only remember the good...probably a coping mechanism or something. <br /><br />You are obviously very special to be thinking all this stuff...but I already knew you were. (0:Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12394509972095129618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-37559086129968319862011-03-02T15:11:43.157-05:002011-03-02T15:11:43.157-05:00I also saw it and had the same thoughts. Interesti...I also saw it and had the same thoughts. Interestingly, my husband (who is working with me on my recovery) was the one who first said something out loud and asked me what I thought. I said I never thought having an ED made me special and I never strived to be 'special'...but did agree that it does make you alone.<br /><br />I do agree with Chase. As long as you have an ED you are distanced from your family and friends. You can not give yourself fully to either yourself or your relationships. So even if you are in a crowd of people (including others with EDs) you really are alone. How can you connect with people when you can't fully feel your emotions?<br /><br />Your post actually made me think about myself...I had said I never wanted to be special by being thin. Which is true. But, like you, I did/do have a superwoman complex, that I'm not discovering. I don't 'need' things like sleep, food, and I get my 'special' feeling by thinking I am above such things and don't need anything.<br /><br />This is what I am working on.<br /><br />Very thought provoking....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4699361536242687629.post-30572572930959771432011-03-02T14:21:19.179-05:002011-03-02T14:21:19.179-05:00I saw it, and it resonated with me too.
I have st...I saw it, and it resonated with me too.<br /><br />I have struggled with eating disorders, but I'm just learning that my disordered eating, along with a lot of other unhealthy things I've done and/or still tend to do, are actually tied in to having post-traumatic stress disorder. So having PTSD is definitely not good for my health. It doesn't make me happy; it makes me feel different and damaged and alone. But at the same time, I can't help but see some positives in it. Like one of the symptoms of PTSD can be hyper-vigilance - being overly aware of sensory input, for example, and tending to be always on edge or always feel like you're full of adrenaline. And as I'm dealing with the underlying trauma, and getting better in some ways - happier, less stressed out, being able to trust people, etc. - I've noticed that some of the abilities I've cherished are diminishing. For example, I used to be able to run off adrenaline and stay awake for something like 48 hours, which helped when I had too many deadlines or things to do. I can't now. I get tired and I can't push myself past it; I do normal amounts of things in normal amounts of time now, and now I just sleep when I'm tired. So it's definitely a step towards being healthier, but sometimes I miss being able to just keep going and going and going. I have to remind myself, sometimes, that I'm doing the right thing and that being able to do more things in a day - which did make me feel special - isn't worth my health.shardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17792891903900088298noreply@blogger.com